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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24374818">Let me show you how (you should be loved)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxawalkinwonderlandxx/pseuds/xxawalkinwonderlandxx'>xxawalkinwonderlandxx</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The 100 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Based off a song, Bellamy knows Clarke deserves better, Bellarke has feels, F/M, Finn is a shitty boyfriend, life long best friends, they just don’t know that the other has feels</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 00:53:41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>25,465</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24374818</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxawalkinwonderlandxx/pseuds/xxawalkinwonderlandxx</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Bellamy and Clarke have been best friends nearly their entire lives, and Bellamy can’t stand to see Clarke in a relationship with a guy who is completely wrong for her. But what can he do about it?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>72</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>259</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ajmurphyblake/gifts">Ajmurphyblake</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>For Amber who’s always encouraged me and gave me the inspiration to write this! This is for you &lt;3</p><p>Based off the song by the Eli Young Band “Love Ain’t”</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bellamy sighs and leans back in his chair, running his hands through his hair. It’s not even nine o’clock yet and the words are already swimming on the page in front of him. If he wants to have any chance at passing his history exam tomorrow, then he needs to get through the three chapters it’s going to be on, and he’s only gone through half of one of them. He closes his eyes and leans his head back, wondering what the damage would be if he just skips through some of the stuff but, knowing Professor Pike, it won’t be enough.</p><p>Deciding he needs a break, he gets up and pads his way into the kitchen. The apartment is calm and quiet, due to the fact that Miller and Murphy went out with everyone else, but Bellamy waved off their attempts to get him to go since he knows he needs to study. Even though Miller pointed out the fact that he’s already aced the last two exams without studying <em> this </em> much. But it’s the last exam of the semester and it was worth the most since his ‘final’ is going to be a paper. He grabs a bottle of water from out of the cabinet and looks into the living room towards the couch.  <em> If I move out here I won’t be as uncomfortable but then the T.V. is right there. And if the T.V. is there then I’ll probably want something on in the background. But if I mute it… </em>He’s pulled out of his thoughts by his phone vibrating in his pocket, and he pulls it out to see it’s a text from Murphy.</p><p>
  <em> Come to the bar </em>
</p><p>Bellamy rolls his eyes and tucks his bottle of water under his arm so he can text him back.</p><p><em> I told you I’m studying </em> <em><br/>
</em> <em> Now leave me alone </em></p><p>He grabs his bottle of water and is about to get his stuff so he can move his study space into the living room when his phone goes off again.</p><p>
  <em> Finn didn’t show up </em>
</p><p>Bellamy stops in his tracks. <em> Fucking asshole</em>. It’s almost like he can see Clarke in his mind, sitting at a table with their friends and looking up anytime the door to the bar opens to see if it’s her boyfriend. Whenever it’s not, she seems to deflate a little more and Bellamy always ends up nudging her with his foot and pulling her into a game of pool, or karaoke, to try and get her mind off it. Then, whenever Finn <em> does </em> show up, it takes everything in Bellamy not to get in his face for disappointing her.</p><p>
  <em> I’ll be there in ten </em>
</p><p>He changes out of his sweatpants and pulls on some jeans before grabbing his keys and heading out the door, and all the while he wonders what Finn’s excuse is for not showing up this time. There’s been a few times when he’s claimed to have to work late because his boss asked him to, and another time he admitted to forgetting that they were supposed to go out and ended up falling asleep but Clarke had been worried the entire time because she thought something had happened to him.</p><p>The bar is packed, and after Bellamy finds a parking spot, he jogs up to the front door. Once he’s inside, it should take him longer to find everyone, but he has the uncanny ability to find Clarke no matter where she is. It’s something they’ve always been able to do with each other, even when they were younger. He doesn’t get far when Clarke turns around and looks at him, like she knew he was there. He smiles at her, and she does the same as he maneuvers his way through the crowd and towards the booth she’s sitting at with the rest of their friends. Though Murphy isn’t anywhere to be seen.</p><p>“Bell!” Octavia calls, and everyone turns to smile at him.</p><p>“Look who decided to join us.” Miller says, and Clarke looks up at him. </p><p>“I thought you were going to study all night for Pike’s test?”</p><p>“Changed my mind. Decided I needed a break.”</p><p>“Good.” Clarke scoots over and pats the spot beside her, and Bellamy sits down, resting his arm on the back of the seat. “You can help me beat Jasper at quarters.”</p><p>“I think you could do that yourself, but okay.” He smirks at her and he loves the way she beams at him. She’s not drunk, but he knows she’s far from sober.</p><p>Murphy appears with a beer and places it in front of Bellamy and he nods his head at his friend, a silent thanks for heads up, but the look Murphy gives him makes his heart drop in his chest. <em> So, it’s one of those nights</em>. When Bellamy looks back at Clarke, she’s laughing at something Monty must’ve said, but he notices that it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. <em> Fuck. </em> He moves his arm that’s resting behind her and squeezes her shoulder which causes her to look at him. She seems to realize that he must know something’s wrong because the smile she gives him is sad, and it tears his heart apart.</p><p>If anyone would ask Bellamy, he would say that Finn doesn’t deserve Clarke. But no one has asked him, and after his first attempts at getting her to realize she could do better, he’s stopped bringing it up. So, instead he stands back and lets her make her own decisions when it comes to her love life. And even though it hurts for him to see her upset, he’s always there whenever she and Finn have a fight, or when he doesn’t show up like he said he was going to, or when the other guy says something that makes his blood boil.</p><p>Ever since they met, Bellamy has been fiercely protective over Clarke, but for a while he didn’t realize why. She was always smaller than everyone else, for one thing, so Bellamy made sure that no one picked on her for it. And as they got older, the kids they went to school with knew that if anything happened to Clarke, Bellamy would always make sure it never happened again. Needless to say, he got into a lot of fights over her growing up. Then, whenever he got home, or in some cases had to be picked up, his mom would always tell him that he couldn’t keep getting into fights, but whenever he explained that he was doing it because of Clarke, she always gave him a knowing look.</p><p>Now, he never understood <em> what </em> she knew, but the realization hit him like a tidal wave when they were in high school. It was a normal night their freshman year and the two of them were sitting on a picnic table eating snowballs when he said something and Clarke laughed so hard she cried. There was nothing different about it, because he had made her laugh that hard before, but sitting there with the sun setting and having her laughing made him realize that...she was it. And the thought that went through his head was <em> I want to make her laugh like that for the rest of our lives</em>.</p><p>The reality that he was in love with his best friend scared him to no end, and when she sobered up enough from laughing to actually talk to him, he found that he was too dumbstruck to give her a coherent response. The scene plays in his mind, and the sound of Clarke laughing beside him makes his heart skip a beat.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em> Clarke wrinkles her nose as she looks at him, taking a bite of her snowball. “You okay?” She nudges him under the table with her foot. “You look pale.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Yeah.” His voice comes out hoarse and he clears his throat, not meeting her eyes. “I think I must’ve eaten something bad.” </em>
</p><p><em> “Oh, well let's go home. We can get Octavia and watch a movie.” The way she said ‘home’ makes his heart feel like it’s going to beat out of his chest. How could he be in love with his best friend? </em> When <em> did he fall in love with his best friend? The feeling of her hand coming to rest on his forearm breaks him out of his thoughts and he looks at her wide-eyed, with the feeling of her hand burning into his skin. “You sure you’re okay?” </em></p><p>
  <em> “I’m good.” He stands up quickly, and Clarke’s eyebrows knit together as she looks at him, but he still can’t bring himself to look her in the eyes. “Let’s go.” </em>
</p><p><em> They throw away their snowballs, even though Bellamy had barely eaten his, and make their way to his bike. Bellamy sits down on it and Clarke sits on his handlebars as he starts back towards his house. </em> The place she called home. <em> The entire ride back, Bellamy’s hands shake around the handlebars but it doesn’t seem like Clarke notices. She laughs as they ride, and then asks him what movie they want to watch when they get back, and even though he can’t see her face, he knows that she’s smiling. He can hear it in her voice. </em></p><p><em> When they get to the house, Bellamy goes into the bathroom and sits down on the edge of the tub. </em> How could I be in love with her? <em> He thinks back to all of the times they’ve spent together, which has pretty much been his entire life, and he wonders when this could have started </em> . She’s…Clarke <em> . They’ve climbed trees together and skinned their knees playing soccer, and they’ve gotten into fights over who got to control the T.V. and about Bellamy stealing the last of the ice cream. She’s even seen him cry. </em> She’s my other half <em> . </em></p><p><em> That thought doesn’t sit well with him either, and Bellamy can feel his hands shaking, so he fists them together and shoves them in his pockets. He gulps. </em> I’ve always been in love with her. <em> A knock comes at the door and Bellamy’s head snaps up to look at it. </em></p><p><em> “Quit hogging the bathroom! I have to pee.” Her voice is muffled by the door, but it pulls a smile to his lips. </em> I love her <em> . </em></p><p>
  <em> “Leave me alone! Can’t a man use the bathroom in peace?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “In a house run by girls? No.” </em>
</p><p><em> Bellamy calls out that he’ll be out in a second, and when he hears Clarke’s footsteps retreat down the hall he takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. When he finally stands, his legs shake a little, but he keeps taking deep breaths as he actually uses the bathroom then washes his hands. When he walks out, the sudden thought of seeing her makes his heart rate pick up and he swallows hard. </em>Why am I so nervous? I’ve never been nervous around her.</p><p>
  <em> As he walks into the living room, Clarke looks at him and throws her hands in the air, and Bellamy is suddenly aware of how breathtakingly beautiful she is. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Finally!” She throws her hands up then stands, jogging past him down the hall. “I have to pee. I have to pee. I have to pee.” </em>
</p><p><em> Bellamy turns and watches her disappear into the bathroom. </em> What the fuck do I do? <em> When he turns his attention back to the living room, Octavia is looking at him from the couch with her head tilted to the side. </em></p><p>
  <em> “You have a funny look on your face.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Collecting himself, Bellamy rolls his eyes at her. “Your face is funny looking.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> She threw a pillow at him. </em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Earth to Bellamy!” An elbow in his side brings him out of his head and when he looks over, Clarke is staring at him with a questioning look on her face. “What’s up?”</p><p>“Exam stress,” he lies, and Clarke pats him on the shoulder then squeezes lightly.</p><p>“You got this. You always do.”</p><p>“I appreciate your faith in me,” he smiles, and Clarke’s eyes soften.</p><p>“I always have faith in you.”</p><p>“Thanks, princess.” The nickname rolls off his tongue effortlessly, and he’s surprised when Clarke’s cheeks pink slightly at it. <em> That’s never happened before</em>.</p><p>She looks away from him and down at his beer. “Um, you want another drink?”</p><p>“Still have some.” He holds his bottle up and shakes it a little, and her blush deepens. “But I’ll go get you another one.”</p><p>“Thank you.” She smiles at him, and you would think that after all these years his heart wouldn’t speed up as much as it does when he looks at her, but he’s never been able to control it.</p><p>“I need another drink, too.” Murphy gets up and follows him to the bar, and after Bellamy’s ordered Clarke’s drink, he leans on the counter and looks at Murphy.</p><p>“What happened this time?”</p><p>“She showed up and started doing shots with Jasper, if that’s anything to go by.”</p><p>Bellamy curses silently and looks towards the bartender who’s still making her drink. Clarke was never one to really start doing shots unless it was a celebration, like prom night or their graduation party, or she wanted to get un-sober quickly. But those times were never good.</p><p>“They had a fight, then.” Bellamy can feel the anger building up in his chest, but he pushes it down. They’ve already had that conversation a few times and Clarke made it very clear that she didn’t need him giving her shit for being with someone she wants to be with. And, he couldn’t argue with that. Hearing her say it hurt like hell, but it wasn’t his place to tell her what to do.</p><p>“So, what are you going to do about it?”</p><p>Bellamy narrows his eyes at Murphy, but his friend only puts his hands in his pockets and raises an eyebrow at him. They became friends their junior year of high school, and Murphy called him out on his feelings for Clarke within fifteen minutes of meeting them at a party. Thankfully, Clarke wasn’t there because she went to get a snack from the kitchen, and Bellamy told Murphy that he didn’t know what he was talking about. Then, Murphy called bullshit on that, too.</p><p> <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <em> “So, how long have you two been together?” Murphy asks, glancing in the direction Clarke left in, and Bellamy looks at him. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “We’re not.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Riight.” Murphy nods his head, bringing his drink up to his mouth slowly. “You expect me to believe that?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “We’ve known each other our whole lives. It’s—” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Not mutual?” Murphy smirks at him, and Bellamy suddenly has the urge to throw him in the pool. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Not like that.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The other guy snorts. “Wow.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “What?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Nothing,” Murphy shrugs. “But this is going to be fun to watch.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Bellamy hasn’t been able to get rid of him since. But, one thing that happened early on, is that even though Murphy acts like he doesn’t care about most people, he started watching out for Clarke like Bellamy does, except there’s nothing more to it like there is with Bellamy. When the bartender places the drink down on the counter, Bellamy pays him and looks back at Murphy.</p><p>“How many of these do you think I’ll have to buy?”</p><p>“As many as it takes until Finn gets here.”</p><p>Bellamy takes a deep breath. “<em>If </em>he gets here.”</p><p>When they get back to the booth, two orders of cheese fries have appeared and Clarke is leaning onto Octavia while his little sister runs her hand through her blonde hair, but Clarke sits up when she notices him. Despite how she must be feeling, she still smiles sweetly at him and takes her drink gratefully, draining half of it before he can even sit down properly. Jasper and Monty cheer her on, and Miller and Octavia bang on the table as Clarke tilts her head back and drains the rest of it. When she looks at him, she smiles sheepishly, then rests her chin on his shoulder.</p><p>“Thank you for the drink.”</p><p>“You’re welcome. But don’t expect anymore. You just inhaled eight dollars.”</p><p>She pouts at him for a second, and he wonders if she’s going to try and convince him to get another one, but something crosses her face and she sits up again. “Fine,” she sighs, then starts in on one of the baskets of fries. But even though there’s still a slight pout to her lips, she doesn’t push it anymore. <em> That’s not going to settle well in her stomach</em>.</p><p>At some point, Octavia pulls her up for a dance, and Bellamy watches the two of them go, but when he looks back at everyone else at the table, they’re all staring at him. “What?”</p><p>“Someone needs to talk to her,” Jasper says, and Bellamy looks at him.</p><p>“I’m sure she’s talked to O already.”</p><p>“She hasn’t said anything.” Miller looks from the dance floor to him. “She won’t tell any of us.”</p><p>“But <em> we’re </em> not her best friend.” Murphy gives him a sly grin. “You know, the one that’s—”</p><p>“Shut up, Murphy.” Bellamy glares at him, but it only makes his grin widen. Everyone at the table knows how Bellamy feels about Clarke, but they know not to say it out loud. </p><p>Jasper leans over to Monty. “When are mom and dad going to get together?”</p><p>Bellamy rolls his eyes and picks up his beer, taking a sip. He’s not wanting to drink, but just being around his friends and their questioning gazes makes him consider it. Eventually, and thankfully, Miller takes pity on him and they go to an empty pool table. </p><p>He isn’t sure how long they play, but at some point Miller looks over Bellamy’s shoulder and towards something, and when he glances at Bellamy, he turns around to look, too. Clarke is standing by the booth, but she has a hand on her forehead and another on her stomach. <em> Oh no. </em> Pool game forgotten, Bellamy starts moving towards her while also looking for the quickest route to the bathroom. When he’s close to her, she looks up at him, her eyes wide, and Bellamy wraps his arm around her and guides her to the hallway that the bathrooms are tucked in.</p><p>He helps her lower herself to the floor, and he barely has enough time to get her hair back before she’s throwing up. Usually, she’s pretty good about handling her alcohol, but he knew that the moment the cheese fries ended up at the table this wasn’t going to end well. Everyone says you’re supposed to eat if you’re going to drink, but Clarke usually ends up...well, throwing up. When she’s done, Bellamy holds her hair in one hand and runs his other one over her back. The last time she threw up was their first college party their first semester, and she’s tried to avoid them ever since.</p><p>“You good?” He asks, and Clarke nods her head slowly before opening her eyes and looking up at him.</p><p>“I want to go home.” The pout is back on her lips, and it pulls at Bellamy’s heart as he helps her to her feet. “I shouldn’t have eaten those fries.”</p><p>“Do you remember the last time you threw up after eating cheesy fries?”</p><p>She wrinkles her nose. “The fair junior year. I think I was sick for two days and didn’t touch those fries for like two years.”</p><p>“Fun times.” Bellamy wraps an arm around her shoulders and she huddles into his side as they make their way back to the booth. From the way she’s holding onto him, it wouldn’t be a long-shot to say that she’s starting to fall asleep. <em> Yeah, let’s get you home</em>.</p><p>Everyone says their goodbyes, with Miller telling Bellamy he’ll drop Octavia off before he comes home, and then Bellamy is guiding Clarke out to his car. He knows she’s probably tired, and she’s already had to deal with enough tonight, but Bellamy knows he can’t let her go without having her talk about what’s bothering her. When they get to the car, she waves him off in his attempt to help her into the passenger seat, and after he closes his door and starts the car, he looks at her.</p><p>Her elbow is resting against the door and her head is propped up in her hand, but she actually seems awake. She closes her eyes and sighs. “I don’t want to talk, Bellamy.”</p><p>“We both know I’m not moving the car until you do.” Clarke says nothing, and Bellamy leans his seat back.</p><p>They’re both stubborn, but he’s hoping that she’s tired enough to where she’ll tell him before too much time passes. It’s nearly eleven. He can hear the sound of cars passing by on neighboring streets, and hear the sound of her steady breathing. They’ve spent a lot of nights just sitting in his car listening to music and not talking, but this isn’t one of those nights.</p><p>“Finn’s been really busy at the shop recently, and he told me that tonight was going to be a night together and we would hangout with everyone and I’d actually get to see him. But,” she sighs, “he texted me that Sinclair needed him to stay later and help him work on a car because the owner is coming to get it in the morning.”</p><p>Bellamy has to fight back his snort. He can tell she’s sad, and tired, and he doesn’t need to give her a reason to call him an asshole again. He turns his head to look at her, and she looks at him, her eyes watery. “Doing shots with Jasper won’t fix how you feel, Clarke.”</p><p>“I know.” She sniffles. “But it was fun.” Despite the fact that she’s nearly crying, she smiles at him, and this time it actually reaches her eyes. “Can we go home now?”</p><p>“Sure, princess.” Bellamy leans his seat back up. “Let’s go home.” He turns around to look behind him as he backs out of his parking spot, and the blush from earlier is back. <em> Or is it the alcohol? </em></p><p>Bellamy pulls in front of his apartment and parks, then gets out and jogs to Clarke’s side to get her out. Somewhere in the few minutes it took him to get here she’s fallen asleep, so he scoops her up in his arms and makes his way up the stairs and into his apartment. He toes the door open to his room and lays Clarke down in his bed, taking off her socks and shoes in the process. She curls into herself when he pulls the blanket over her, and her eyes flutter open to look at him.</p><p>“Your bed is always so cozy,” she murmurs, and Bellamy smiles down at her.</p><p>“You just like my pillows.”</p><p>“Mhm.” She smiles, too, and closes her eyes again. “They always smell good.”</p><p>Bellamy chuckles lightly then bends down and presses a kiss to her hair. “Get some sleep,” he whispers. Clarke makes some sort of jumbled noise but he has no idea what she was trying to say.</p><p>He grabs his study materials from his desk and turns out the light, then makes his way into the living room. <em> I still have to study</em>. He gets through the rest of the first chapter, and most of the second chapter before he decides that he can just read the last chapter during his lunch break tomorrow. It won’t be the most he could have done before the exam, but it should be enough.</p><p>As he lays down he tries to clear his mind enough to go to sleep, but of course it won’t let him go that easily. Laying down on the couch with Clarke just a few feet away from him has always had his mind reeling, ever since he realized he was in love with her. It was also then that he quit sleeping so close to her. Growing up, they would always sleep on the couch together, or the floor, or even in one of their beds if they thought they could get away with it, but after that day Bellamy knew he couldn’t keep doing that.</p><p>She hadn’t understood in the beginning, but over time he figures she came to her own conclusions about why there was the sudden change, or maybe she just accepted it. He has no idea. But, he never knew how much he would miss it. Maybe if they had kept sleeping next to each other they wouldn’t be separated now. Bellamy rolls over, burying his face in the pillow. <em> And maybe if I had told her how I felt whenever I realized it, she would be safe in bed with me instead of dealing with the shit he’s putting her through. </em></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So, thoughts? Comments? :)</p><p> </p><p>I hope you liked it!<br/>Xx</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em> Clarke’s head is resting on his shoulder while they watch the first Jurassic Park, but they both know that if his mom comes home then they’ll get scolded for letting Octavia watch it. Though, she seems to have been knocked out for the count if her snoring is anything to go by. Clarke lets out a small yawn, and it pulls a smile onto Bellamy’s face, even if his heart feels like it’s about to burst out of his chest. </em> I wonder if she can hear it? <em> Despite his nerves, Bellamy leans his head over and rests it against hers, and even though his heartbeat is loud in his ears, it almost seems like she lets out a happy sigh. </em></p><p>
  <em> The front door of the house creaks open then closes and the two of them sit up straighter. When they look, Aurora stops at the end of the entryway and looks at them, a tired smile on her face. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Having fun?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “As much as I can with Bellamy eating all of the popcorn,” Clarke huffs, and Bellamy feigns outrage when he looks at her. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “You never said you wanted more!” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “You know I’d eat the entire bowl if you gave it to me!” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Yeah, but eating it yourself and sharing it are two different things.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Like I should have to ask you for it!” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Alright, kids,” Aurora’s voice is calm as she walks towards them. “I think maybe the two of you call it a night. Are you going to make a pallet out here on the floor?” </em>
</p><p><em> Bellamy’s eyes widen as he looks at his mom, and she raises an eyebrow as her gaze settles on him. </em> Should I sleep on a pallet with her? <em> He gulps, and his mom must recognize something on his face, because she says: “Or, our guest room has new sheets if you’d like to sleep in a bed for once, Clarke.” </em></p><p>
  <em> “No,” Clarke shakes her head, taking some popcorn for the bowl. “I think we’ll sleep on the pallet. Right, Bellamy?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Oh, uh…” Bellamy reaches up and runs his hand through his hair. “I’m still feeling sick, so maybe I should sleep in my bed tonight. Be closer to the bathroom.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Oh,” the disappointment in Clarke’s voice is apparent. “Yeah, makes sense.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> When he looks at his mom, it’s clear she doesn’t believe him. “It’s probably for the best,” she says. “Afterall, I don’t need Bell throwing up on my carpet.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “True. If someone throws up around me then I might start throwing up, too.” Clarke wrinkles her nose at him and Bellamy lets out a small laugh. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Wouldn’t be the first time.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Okay, but I was younger and O’s vomit was horrendous.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “If you say so. I didn’t puke.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Jerk.” Clarke pushes him in his shoulder, and it makes Bellamy smile. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Okay, well, I’ll leave you two alone but, Bellamy, can I talk to you for a second in my room, please?” </em>
</p><p>What did I do now?<em> Bellamy nods and gets off the couch, following his mom into her bedroom. It’s like he can feel Clarke’s eyes searing into his back, but he doesn’t look to see if that’s what’s happening. He walks further into the room and Aurora shuts the door behind them. </em></p><p>
  <em> “So, what’s wrong?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Bellamy sits down on the edge of her bed and shrugs. “I don’t know. I think I ate something bad.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> His mom’s face becomes unreadable as she begins to take off her earrings. “You really expect me to believe that, son?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Yes?” He knows it sounds like a question, but he doesn’t lie to his mom. And he’s not sure if he should try right now. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Want to try that again?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Why does something have to be wrong?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Bellamy,” she turns around and leans against her dresser, “if you’re lying to Clarke about being sick, then there’s something going on.” </em>
</p><p><em> He looks away from her, toeing at the carpet that covers her bedroom floor. </em> She has to know. Right? <em> If he tells her, then he wonders if she’ll tell Clarke’s parents. Because that’s what parents do. Anytime he got into a fight she always called Clarke’s parents to let them know that there was someone picking on Clarke, but Abby and Jake always seemed like they were grateful for Bellamy having been there. </em></p><p>
  <em> “I realized something today,” he mumbles, still not looking at her. “And I don’t know what to do.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> His mom comes and sits beside him, her hand rubbing soothing circles over his back. He leans into her touch, and rests his head on her shoulder. He doesn’t know the last time he did this. “What did you realize, honey?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Bellamy bites his bottom lip, and he can feel his hands begin to shake again from the nerves. “I—I think I’m in love with Clarke.” His voice is soft, barely above a whisper, and his mom’s arm comes to wrap around him. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “And how do you feel?” She rests her head against his, and the emotions he was trying to fight back begin to bubble to the surface. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I'm scared,” he mumbles, and his mom places a kiss on top of his head. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “And why are you scared, baby?” </em>
</p><p><em> Bellamy bites at his bottom lip, thinking. </em> Why am I scared? She’s my best friend <em> . The person he always wants to be around. Be with. She’s Clarke, and he shouldn’t be scared. But he is. For the first time since he’s met her, he doesn’t know how to act. Before, he knew he wanted to protect her. He always wanted to protect her. </em>But what would happen if I told her? </p><p>
  <em> “I—I don’t know.” A tear slips down his cheek and he hurries to wipe it away. He’s fourteen, he shouldn’t be crying over a girl.  </em>
</p><p><em> His mom doesn't say anything, just keeps holding him, and Bellamy closes his eyes as he tries to control his breathing. </em>Jeez, I realize I’m in love with a girl and I start crying? </p><p>
  <em> “Love is a scary thing, Bellamy,” his mom murmurs after a while. “And many people don’t know how to handle it.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Were you scared?”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Honey, when your dad told me he loved me I was terrified.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “What about O’s dad?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Things were different with him.”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Then what did you do with my dad?”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Well, with your dad, I was scared for a while, but I realized that there was nothing to be afraid of because I loved him, too.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> A thought pops into Bellamy’s mind, and his heart starts racing, but not in a good way. “But what—” he swallows, not wanting to voice what he’s about to say, but knowing he needs to. “But what if I tell her and she says she doesn’t love me back?”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “You’re young, honey,” Aurora presses a kiss to the top of his head, “you have your entire lives to figure out how much you mean to each other.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “But what if she never does?” His voice breaks, and more tears slip down his face as his mom wraps him in a bone-crushing hug. “What if she—” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Hey,” Aurora pulls back and he looks up at her. “None of that, okay? That girl in there knows how special you are, and she will always see that. She might be scared, too, but you’ll always find your way to each other.”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Bellamy nods his head, still crying, and his mom pulls him back into a hug as he wraps his arms around her. “How long have you known?”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I’m your mother. I knew the moment you told me about how you had a new best friend.”  </em>
</p><p><em> And, for some reason that his fourteen-year-old heart can’t comprehend, he starts crying even more. </em> So, that’s the look she always gave me. <em> He’s young, he shouldn’t be crying over a girl like he’s heartbroken. He doesn’t know why he’s crying at all. He should be happy. But, god, does the thought of telling her scare him.  </em></p><p>
  <em> It takes a while for him to be comfortable with going back out into the living room since he doesn’t want Clarke to know that he’s been crying, but whenever he does go back out, she’s already curled into a ball fast asleep. He wants to be next to her, grab the blankets and make a pallet like they always do, but he can’t. With how he’s feeling, he believes he should be alone until he figures out what he wants to do. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> So, he grabs the blanket that’s barely covering her legs and pulls it over her. Her eyes don’t open, but she curls the blanket in her hands and buries her face in it. The sight pulls a smile to his lips, and he reaches out to move some hair from her face. A small hum sounds in her throat and it makes his heart flip.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> He has to force himself to leave her alone so she can sleep, and he drags himself to his room. Laying down, he stares up at the ceiling, trying not to let his mind go to the worst possible scenarios for what would happen if he told Clarke he loved her.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> He didn’t get any sleep that night. </em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Bellamy wakes up to the sound of his phone vibrating on the coffee table, and when he reaches over to silence it, he sees the name that’s on the screen. Running a hand over his face, he picks it up and swipes accept.</p><p>“Hello?”</p><p>“I’m sorry, son. Didn’t mean to wake you.” Jake Griffin’s voice sounds from the other end of the line, and Bellamy stifles his yawn.</p><p>“It’s cool. I needed to get up anyway.” </p><p>“Clarke told me you have an exam today so I figured I’d call and tell you good luck. And make sure you’re still coming tomorrow.” </p><p>“Of course. Though I think everyone got a head start on the party last night.” </p><p>“Yeah, she told me that everyone was getting together but you were going to stay back and study.”</p><p>“I tried, but I may have ended up going after a couple of hours.” He smiles, and Jake laughs.</p><p>“That doesn’t surprise me.”</p><p>Bellamy can hear the door to his room open, but instead of Clarke’s footsteps coming towards the living room, they go across the hall into the bathroom. She shuts the door quietly, and almost immediately he can hear music begin to play. He recognizes the song as “Belong” by the Cary Brothers, and his heart sinks. <em> That’s not good</em>.</p><p>“What’s not good?” Jake asks, and Bellamy realizes that he had actually said the words.</p><p>“Oh, uh, it’s nothing.”</p><p>“Alright, one more time. But with feeling.”</p><p>Bellamy sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “Clarke’s playing music while she showers.”</p><p>“That’s not good at all,” Jake takes a deep breath. A habit Clarke has is playing music when she’s down, and she usually only plays her sad playlist when there’s something going on in her relationship. And it seems like this morning is one of those times. “I didn’t know she was there with you.”</p><p>“I brought her back last night, she was tired.”</p><p>“I thought she said Finn was going to join everyone?”</p><p><em> Fuck. </em> “Uh, he ended up having to work late.”</p><p>“I see.” There’s the sound of a door opening on Jake’s end of the line and then there’s a sigh. “Well, if he’s late tomorrow then he’s going to have Abby to deal with and even though I don’t particularly like the boy, I don’t want to see him get his head chewed off.”</p><p>“I would,” Bellamy grumbles, and he would almost swear that he can hear Jake stifle a snort.</p><p>Even though neither of them really talk about it, Bellamy and Clarke’s dad share similar feelings when it comes to Finn. Of course, Jake’s feelings changed over time, but mainly after the first time Finn and Clarke got into a fight and she called Octavia crying. Bellamy just didn’t like him from the beginning, but that’s because of his personal reasons. Clarke deserves to be treated better than what Finn has been doing for the past six months but, again, no one asked for his opinion.</p><p>“I’ll let you get ready for class,” the other man says finally. “Are you going to make her hot chocolate?”</p><p>“With extra marshmallows. I got it.”</p><p>“Just making sure you remember. I’ll see you tomorrow.”</p><p>“Like she would let me forget. Tell Abby I said hi.”</p><p>“I will.”</p><p>The call ends, and Bellamy sits up on the couch, stretching. He doesn’t have too long until he has to go to class, but he knows that Clarke’s classes got cancelled since it’s the day before spring break so he wonders if he should drop her off at home or if she’d want to just hangout here. He pads his way into the kitchen and pulls out one of the bigger coffee mugs and then the milk. Usually, when he has more time, he’ll melt chocolate and use corn starch, but since he still has to get ready himself, he decides to use the can of Godiva hot chocolate.</p><p>Just as he is stirring in the powder, there’s a knock at the door. <em> Who the hell is that? </em> He picks up the mug and continues stirring it, then opens the door. On the other side is Finn, with his hands in his pockets and his hair is slightly damp. <em> For someone who was supposed to spend all night working, he doesn’t look tired</em>.</p><p>“Hey, is Clarke here?”</p><p>“Yep.” Bellamy leaves the door open and walks back into the kitchen, putting the mug down and moving to grab a thermos.</p><p>“She wasn’t answering her phone, but Monty told me you brought her home last night. I went by her apartment and Harper said she wasn’t there. So, I figured she had to be here.”</p><p>“Yeah, she got sick. Wanted to keep an eye on her because I knew Harper was studying for an exam.”</p><p>“I thought you were studying, too.”</p><p>Once the hot chocolate is poured from the mug into the thermos, Bellamy moves to grab the mini-marshmallows. “I decided I needed to take a break. There’s only so much you can study before you just stop retaining anything.”</p><p>He doesn’t look at him, but Bellamy can see Finn nod his head out of the corner of his eye. And when he’s done putting the hot chocolate together for Clarke and turns around, Finn looks at the thermos in his hands and raises his eyebrows. “Hot chocolate in April?”</p><p>Before Bellamy can answer, the door to the bathroom opens, and he watches as Clarke appears in the hall. Her hair is wet and she’s wearing a pair of leggings that she insists on keeping in his room, but instead of wearing one of her shirts, it’s his old summer camp shirt.</p><p>“Bellamy, I need hot chocolate.” She runs her hands over her face as she speaks, and Bellamy pushes off the counter and walks towards her, holding out the thermos. When she opens her eyes, she smiles.</p><p>“You always want hot chocolate.” he teases, and she laughs.</p><p>“As you like to remind me. Who was—“ she stops when she looks over the side and sees Finn. “Oh. Hey, Finn.”</p><p>“Hey, Clarke.” Finn smiles at her a little. “Uh—I was wondering if we could get breakfast.”</p><p>Bellamy watches as Clarke presses her lips together for a moment, then she nods her head. “Yeah, sure.”</p><p>She turns to Bellamy, and even though he wants to raise an eyebrow at her, he doesn’t. She wraps him in a half-hug since she’s still holding onto the thermos. “Thank you for last night,” she murmurs. And when they pull apart, he has the urge to ask her to stay. “Go knock Pike’s exam on its ass and I’ll see you tomorrow, right?”</p><p>He smiles lazily. “Where else would I go?” </p><p>“Okay.” She smiles at him, and just like last night it feels like his heart skips a beat. <em> God, I’m so done for </em>. “Text me when you get out.”</p><p>“Bossy,” he teases, crossing his arms over his chest. He looks from her to Finn and back, nodding his head a little. “I’ll see y’all tomorrow.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Finn nods. “See ya.” He opens the door and Clarke walks towards him, and when she walks out of the door, Finn follows her but not before he stops to look back at him. “Thanks.”</p><p>Bellamy just nods his head as his door closes behind the two of them, and after a beat he runs his hand through his hair and lets out a long sigh. In the beginning, Finn wasn’t bad. Of course, Bellamy didn’t like him just on principle, but everyone else did. He made Clarke happy, and that should have been enough for Bellamy to be happy, too, but there was just something about Finn that didn’t sit well with him. When he turns to head to his room, Miller is standing in front of the door to the bathroom looking at him. </p><p>“What?”</p><p>Miller just shrugs and then walks into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. Bellamy sighs again and then picks up his books and starts towards his room. He has his exam he still needs to focus on, so he can’t let Clarke and her relationship with Finn interfere with his studying. <em> Clarke is a big girl, </em> he reminds himself, <em> and I don’t have to protect her anymore. </em></p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>By the time he gets out of his exam, Bellamy feels like his brain has turned to mush, and he doesn’t want to do anything other than fall into his bed and sleep. Maybe order some take out because pizza sounds <em> really </em> good right now. Whenever he pushes into his apartment, Jasper, Monty, Miller, and Murphy are all milling around the kitchen area and Bellamy raises an eyebrow as he looks at all of them.</p><p>“Finally!” Murphy says when he catches sight of him. “Time to drink.”</p><p>Before Bellamy can even say anything, Monty puts a glass in his hand and pats him on the shoulder before taking a sip of his own, and Bellamy looks around at everyone. “What’s going on?”</p><p>“Guys night!” Jasper calls. </p><p>“Yeah, you weren’t able to celebrate with us last night so we’re going to tonight. The girls are having one with Harper, too.” Monty raises his drink. “Here’s to spring break!”</p><p>“Spring break!” Everyone calls, and Bellamy laughs as he takes a sip of his. </p><p>“Who’s ordering the pizza?”</p><p>“Already did.” Miller holds up his phone for a second before slipping it into his pocket. </p><p>“Now, it’s time to pregame before the party tomorrow.” Murphy holds up both of his drinks. “Clarke’s dad called me to make sure I remembered.”</p><p>“Yeah, he called me, too.”</p><p>“Same here.”</p><p>“Yep.”</p><p>Bellamy grins. “We can’t break tradition.”</p><p>Everyone settles in around the coffee table in the living room and Miller pulls out the poker set that Bellamy had bought him for Christmas and they all get their chips ready. There’s a very good possibility that Bellamy’s going to regret drinking tonight, and that his liver might not forgive him, but he doesn’t have any classes to worry about right now.</p><p>Just as the cards are dealt, the pizza is delivered and everyone takes a break to pass the plates and boxes around. Over the years, they’ve had a lot of guys’ nights, more than Bellamy can count, but as he settles in with his pizza and his drink, he finds himself thinking about Clarke and all of the nights they shared like this before they brought more people into their group. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p><em> Clarke throws her backpack down onto the floor next to the kitchen island and lets out a long groan. Since they just finished their midterms, they have a week off until they go back for the rest of the school year and then it’s time for graduation. </em> It’s weird to think that we’ll be starting college in four months. <em> Bellamy leans against the counter, looking into the fridge over Clarke’s head. </em></p><p>
  <em> “I want food,” she grumbles. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “You’re staring into the fridge. Get food.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “But I don’t want any of that food.” She turns around and pouts at him. “My head hurts and I’m tired and I don’t want to cook, either.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Bellamy rolls his eyes and crosses his arms over his chest. “So, what does the princess want?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Clarke rests her hands on her hips as she looks at him, and then finally: “I want pizza.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Didn’t we have pizza last weekend?” </em>
</p><p><em> “Since when do you </em> not <em> want pizza?” She raises an eyebrow at him. “When you were ten that’s all you ever wanted to eat.” </em></p><p>
  <em> “People can grow out of that,” he argues, but he knows it’s for nothing. He wants pizza, too. Clarke keeps looking at him, and even though Bellamy tries to keep with the staring contest, he hasn’t been able to look at her for very long. Not since that night. “Fine,” he groans. “We’ll get pizza.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Yes!” The grin that spreads across her face makes Bellamy’s heart leap. “Pizza and movie night.”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I’ll get the pizza.” Bellamy pulls his phone out of his pocket and Clarke reaches up and pulls her hair out of the bun it’s been in all day. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “And I’ll get the movie but I need to bathe first.” She runs her fingers through her hair and even though it’s poofy and there’s some strands sticking out in any way they can, all Bellamy can think about is how gorgeous she is. “I’ll be out in twenty.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> She moves past him to go to the stairs, and Bellamy finds himself holding his breath as she does. Once she’s away from him, he turns to look at her. “We both know you’re going to take an hour.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> She turns around and smiles at him. “Drag me out when the food gets here.” </em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>That memory causes Bellamy’s mouth to go dry, and he tries not to think about how he actually ended up seeing her in a towel that night and thought he was going to die on the spot. He was moving to put his things in the guest room, which was technically his unofficial room, and Clarke had tiptoed out from the bathroom to get to her room. He only caught a glance at her, and that was enough to make him keep his distance for most of that night. </p><p>The sound of someone calling his name catches his attention, and when Bellamy looks up, Murphy has an annoyed expression on his face. “What?”</p><p>“Dude, ante.”</p><p>“Shit. Sorry.” Bellamy looks at the center of the table and throws in one of his white chips. </p><p>“Did Pike’s test stress you out that bad?” Miller asks, throwing in his chip, and Bellamy shrugs.</p><p>“I think we all know what’s bothering him.” Murphy takes a sip of his drink then gets to shuffling the cards.</p><p>“Don’t even start, Murphy,” Bellamy groans.</p><p>“Start what?” Murphy raises an eyebrow at him. </p><p>“We made a deal that we wouldn’t bring it up,” Monty says, glaring at Murphy, and Bellamy has the urge to take a box of pizza and disappear into his room. </p><p>“I haven’t said anything.” Jasper raises his glass. “Which I think is a record for me.”</p><p>“Jesus,” Bellamy groans and leans his head back against the couch. “I’ve already talked to all of you multiple times about this and I’m done. I’ve tried talking to her, but she doesn’t want to listen to me.”</p><p>“You tried talking to her about her boyfriend. Not the same thing as actually telling her your feelings.” Jasper points out.</p><p>“I made a decision to wait until there was a right time to tell her, and it never happened. Now, I’m done talking about this. She’s with Finn for whatever fucking reason, and that’s her choice. I’m done talking about this.”</p><p>“I’ll drink to that.” Miller holds up a fifth and Bellamy drains the rest of his drink then holds the cup out for Miller to pour some of the liquor into and his friend pours him a shot.</p><p>Murphy sighs and shakes his head, but starts dealing out the cards. “Whatever.”</p><p>When Bellamy finishes the first shot, he holds the glass out again for Miller to give him another one. And then the bottle gets passed around the group while they play. He knows his friends care about him, and they want him to be happy, and be happy <em> with </em> Clarke, but he’s already spent years hiding his feelings from her and he’s not going to try and end her relationship just because he thinks she can do better. </p><p>Thankfully, Jasper starts playing some music from his phone, and Bellamy is able to focus on the sounds and the game at hand rather than being caught up in his thoughts about his best friend. The pizza disappears, as does the alcohol the longer it gets passed around and, eventually, Bellamy finds himself laughing at something Jasper said. He even tears up a little at it, but it’s not a surprise. His friends seem to be laughing more at him than the joke, but Bellamy can’t say that he minds. He doesn’t mind much at this point.</p><p>Whenever he calms down, he stands to go into the kitchen to get a bottle of water only to have his phone start vibrating in his pocket. When he pulls it out, Clarke’s contact picture fills up the screen, and his heart leaps into his throat.</p><p>“Hello, princess.” He says when he answers, and Clarke’s giggle filters through the speaker.</p><p>“Bellamy!” She practically sings his name, and it makes the butterflies in his stomach flutter. “How’s guys’ night?”</p><p>“Miller’s kicking our ass at poker,” he grumbles. “How’s girls’ night?”</p><p>“It’s fun.” He can hear the fridge opening and closing and then…</p><p>“Clarke! Put back the wine!”</p><p>“No!” Bellamy pulls his phone away from his ear, and he can still hear some shuffling on the other end and then the sound of a door shutting and locking. “They want my wine,” she whispers, and Bellamy laughs.</p><p>“Clarke, are you drunk?”</p><p>“Maybe. Are you drunk?”</p><p>“Maybe a little.” Which is kind of a lie because he knows he’s not just a little drunk. “Why’d you call?”</p><p>Clarke is quiet for a moment, and he can hear her unscrewing the cap on the wine. “You didn’t text me after you got out of your exam, and I wanted to talk to you.”</p><p>Poker game forgotten, Bellamy decides to grab a beer out of the fridge and then makes his way towards his room, shutting and locking the door behind him. He opens the bottle with the opener on his keyring and then lays down in the bed.</p><p>“Okay, what did you want to talk about?”</p><p>“I don’t know.” He can hear her bed springs squeak as she lays down, too. “I’m in the mood for a story, though.”</p><p>“You know I can’t tell stories when I’m drunk.”</p><p>“You can always tell stories!” </p><p>“I go on so many tangents.”</p><p>“But that’s what makes them amazing.” <em> God, her voice</em>. He can almost imagine her smiling at him. “Please, Bellamy? You haven’t told me a story in so long.”</p><p>The tone of her voice makes his chest ache a little. “You haven’t asked,” he mumbles.</p><p>“I used to not have to,” she whispers, and he wonders if she actually meant to say that. </p><p>“Okay.” He settles into his pillows and looks up at his ceiling. At his mother’s house, Clarke had helped him put stars on the ceiling, and when she was older she bought glow in the dark paint and added more to it. “What story do you want to hear?”</p><p>He can hear her moving around on her bed, and he waits. She’s quiet for what feels like a long time, but it could have only been a few minutes. He doesn’t have a very good perception of time right now. But finally:</p><p>“Do you remember the story you used to tell me about the mermaid and the fisherman?” She whispers. “How he thought she was beautiful but she said they could never be together, but he—”</p><p>“He always came back and met her by the rocks,” Bellamy finishes for her.</p><p>“Yeah,” she murmurs. “I want to hear that one.”</p><p>“As the princess wishes.” He takes a sip of his beer and then looks up at the ceiling, imagining the glowing stars the two of them spent a lot of time looking at. “Once upon a time, there was a sailor…”</p><p>He talks and talks and talks, and even when it seems like Clarke may have gone to sleep, she’s always there asking him about what happens next. Eventually, though, they both fall asleep with no idea who passed out first, but for a moment, it almost feels like they’re kids again, coming up with stories together in the dark.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Bellamy telling stories to Clarke will always be something I love</p><p>I hope you liked it!<br/>Xx</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Bellamy wakes up the following morning, there’s drool on his pillow, his phone is dead, and his head is throbbing so much that he just wants to bury his face in his pillow and go back to sleep. But he knows that he has a party to go to, if he wants to consider a night at the Griffin’s house a <em> party </em> since Jake and Abby will be there, so that’s what forces him to roll out of bed and drag himself into the bathroom after plugging up his phone.</p><p>The hot water goes a long way to soothe his muscles and it even helps his headache somewhat. Of course, if he were to show up at Jake and Abby’s hungover they wouldn’t hold it against him, he’s twenty-one and he’s drank at their house before, but he would feel weird. Just like he would feel weird if he had to be around his mom with one. Once he gets out of the shower and wraps the towel around him, he goes back into his room to check what time it is only to see a message from Clarke on his screen.</p><p><em> Thank u for telling me a story last night </em> <em><br/></em> <em> Also, if ur late getting here I’m never talking to u again </em> <em><br/></em> <em> Hangover or not </em></p><p>He smiles at the messages and texts her back, telling her that he won’t be late. There’s never been a set time that the party starts, just whenever the first few people show up, but it’s always been an unspoken rule that if Bellamy didn’t spend the night then he had to be there almost immediately after he woke up. If he wasn’t, Clarke would glare at him and not talk to him until he bribed her with something.</p><p>Bellamy takes his time as he gets ready, not wanting to make his headache any worse than it already is, and then he texts Clarke that he’s on his way. After a decent breakfast that didn’t make him want to throw up and a few bottles of water and some ibuprofen, he feels a lot better than he did when he woke up. Miller doesn’t shuffle out of his room until Bellamy is on his second cup of coffee and waves him off, saying that he’ll grab Murphy and Emori and show up later. So, Bellamy grabs his keys and starts towards his car.</p><p>He hasn’t been to the Griffin’s a few months, even though Abby kept inviting him to their family dinner. He just didn’t have the heart to tell her that he couldn’t be around Finn. Though he assumed that Abby and Jake wanted to keep things how they used to be when the two of them were still in high school, he just couldn’t do it. </p><p>Bellamy zones out for most of the drive, opting to keep his head clear to avoid thinking too much so he doesn't bring his headache back, and before he realizes it he’s pulling into the Griffin’s driveway. Their house had always been substantially bigger than his mom’s, but they have the ability to make it seem just as warm and inviting. </p><p>He pulls in behind Clarke’s car and grabs his bag. He makes his way to the back gates and reaches over to let himself in, and he can already hear music playing from inside the kitchen. When he opens the back door, Abby spots him immediately and smiles.</p><p>“Bellamy!” She abandons the towels she’s folding and wraps him in a hug, planting a kiss on his cheek. “It feels like I haven’t seen you in forever.”</p><p>“I’m sorry, Abby. You know how school can get.” When they pull apart he smiles a little at her and she pats his shoulder.</p><p>“As my daughter likes to remind me. How do you think you did on your exam?”</p><p>He shrugs. “I felt good walking out, but I guess we’ll have to see once we get back from break.”</p><p>“I’m sure you did great.” She squeezes his arm then looks towards the stairs. “Jake ran to the store to get some ice but the princess is up in her tower.”</p><p>“Alright, thanks.” He slings his bag over his shoulder and tosses it in ‘his’ room, then walks down to the end of the hall where Clarke’s door is.</p><p>It’s cracked open slightly, and before he knocks, he can see Clarke laying on her bed. She’s in a purple sundress and her hair has been braided off to the side. The sight nearly knocks the breath from his lungs. He raises his hand and rapts on the door a couple of times and she jumps, hiding something under her. <em> Strange</em>.</p><p>“Bellamy!”</p><p>He smirks at her, crossing his arms over his chest. “Am I interrupting something?”</p><p>“No.” The tips of her ears redden, and Bellamy walks towards the bed.</p><p>“Then what are you hiding?”</p><p>She bites at her bottom lip then smiles a little and pulls out a picture. It’s of him, and he’s holding two handfuls of opened letters while rolling his eyes at the camera, and Clarke is grinning behind him. The sight pulls a smile to his face, and he reaches out and takes the picture from her.</p><p>“You pissed off the counselors that summer,” he laughs. </p><p>“I was worried about you,” Clarke scowls at him.</p><p>“I was gone for six weeks and you acted like it was the end of the world.”</p><p>“I was eleven! We had never been apart before and then suddenly you went somewhere I couldn’t follow and I missed my best friend.” She continues to glare at him and Bellamy chuckles as he tucks a strand of hair behind her ear.</p><p>“I missed you, too.” He looks down at the picture. “But forty-one letters?”</p><p>“It would have been forty-two if your mom hadn’t agreed to bring me to pick you up,” she mumbles, and it makes Bellamy’s smile widen.</p><p>The front door opens and closes, and Bellamy looks at the picture one last time before placing it on her nightstand. “Alright, get up. I’m not helping your mom get shit ready by myself.”</p><p>Clarke huffs as she rolls off the bed, but Bellamy loves the way he can see the corners of her mouth turning up in a smile. When she walks out of the room, his eyes find the picture once more as he remembers what it was like once he got back.</p><p>
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  <em> As soon as his mom’s car pulls into view, Bellamy instantly notices the head of blonde hair in the passenger seat, and Clarke smiles at him. He was already smiling at the thought of seeing his mom and Octavia again, but he didn’t realize just how much he missed Clarke. When the car comes to a stop in front of one of the camp counselors, the passenger door opens and Clarke hops out, running straight for him. He barely has time to move his bag before she crashes into him, but he catches her all the same. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Don’t ever leave me like that again. My summer was miserable.” she mumbles into his shoulder, and Bellamy tightens his hold on her and picks her up off the ground for a second. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I got all of your letters.” When they pull apart, he looks at her. “You ramble a lot.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Well, I had nothing else to do,” she huffs. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “So, you must be Clarke Griffin.” One of the counselors, Wick, a sandy-haired guy who is really tall, comes to stand beside them with his hands on his hips. “I think all of us here have your address memorized by this point.” </em>
</p><p><em> Bellamy looks at Clarke and she raises her chin at him. “He got </em> all <em> of my letters?” </em></p><p>
  <em> “Every single one.” Wick smiles. “We even gave out mail on Sunday because of you.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Then, she turns to him and smiles. “Did you keep them?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “And risk you hating me if I hadn’t? Of course, I did.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Good.” She nods at him, and his mom honks her horn. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Alright, time for the two of you to get out of here.” The counselor walks them to the car and opens the backseat for them to climb in. “Oh, and, Bellamy?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Yeah?” Bellamy turns around to look at him, and Wick looks between him and Clarke. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Next time, bring her with you.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Bellamy can feel his cheeks pink, but he grins nonetheless. “I will.” Then he looks at Clarke and smiles. “Promise.” </em>
</p><p>
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</p><p>Bellamy nearly misses the bottom step of the stairs since he’s so caught up in his head, but he catches himself at the last minute. As he makes his way into the kitchen, Jake Griffin is in the process of putting beer in the fridge and Abby is putting the liquor in the cabinet above the stove. But when he gets close enough, Jake straightens and wraps him in a hug.</p><p>“Hey, son.” </p><p>“Hey.” They pat each other on the back, and when they break apart, Jake opens the freezer and pulls out a beer, handing it to him. Bellamy raises an eyebrow at him, but they smile at each other and he takes it.</p><p>“Oh, I want one.” Clarke calls from the back door, and Jake turns to look at her.</p><p>“You drink?” Her dad asks, mouth open and eyes wide, then he turns to his wife. “Abby! Our daughter drinks!” </p><p>Abby laughs, and Bellamy bites the inside of his cheek at the annoyed expression on Clarke’s face. Bellamy pulls another beer out of the freezer and holds it out for her, but as she nears him to take it, he pulls it out of her reach. Which she definitely doesn’t like.</p><p>“Bellamy,” she groans.</p><p>“Need something?” He grins.</p><p>“Give me the beer.” She reaches for it again and her hand wraps around it as Bellamy pulls it back and she stumbles towards him. That wasn’t what he was intending, and his heartbeat picks up as he realizes what just happened. Their chests are pressed together now, and Clarke’s hand is still wrapped around the bottle.</p><p>“I did you a favor. What do I get out of it?” He looks down at her, and when their eyes meet her cheekbones turn bright pink. But she recovers and smiles slyly at him.</p><p>“I won’t knock you into the pool.”</p><p>“I don’t believe that.” He lets the beer go, and Clarke grins as she clutches it towards her chest. </p><p>“We’ll see.”</p><p>“Clarke!” Abby calls from the back patio. “Can you bring the chips out here, please?”</p><p>Clarke smirks at him as she grabs the bottle opener off the counter and pops the top off her bottle, and Bellamy watches as she walks outside and towards her mom. He’s vaguely aware of Jake looking at him, and when Bellamy glances at him, the older man raises an eyebrow.</p><p>“She tells me that Finn said he’d be here today.” Jake takes a sip of his own beer. “How likely do you think that is?”</p><p>Bellamy shrugs. “I’m forbidden to talk about him.” The look Jake gives him makes him want to laugh but, thankfully, he doesn’t say anything else on the subject and gestures towards the bags of ice.</p><p>“Can you help me get these into the chests?”</p><p>
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</p><p>Most of the rest show up within the next hour and a half, and the party goes into full-swing. Once Bellamy and Clarke got older, they started inviting their friends over for their annual spring break party, and Jake and Abby started acting like everyone’s parents. Whenever Murphy needed to get a ride to a job interview his senior year since his car was in the shop, Jake beat Bellamy when it came to offering to drive him. And when Harper needed to interview someone for her school project, Abby was more than willing to sit down with her for a couple of hours and answer all of the questions that she had. Same thing for the rest of them.</p><p>Jasper and Monty shoo Abby away from the stereo so they can take over the music, and Abby holds her hands up in surrender as she walks away to let them do what they want. </p><p>“Alright, we’re taking it back to middle school!” Jasper calls, and everyone turns to look at him and “Tonight, Tonight” by Hot Chelle Rae begins to play through the speakers. Everyone laughs, and Bellamy watches as Octavia grabs Harper and Clarke and pulls them out into the grass.</p><p>“We’ve arrived!” Murphy calls from the side of the house and everyone turns towards him and Emori.</p><p>“Hi!” Abby smiles at them, and she gives Murphy a hug before doing the same with Emori. “I’m Abby.”</p><p>“Hi, Abby.” Emori smiles at her. “I’m Emori.”</p><p>“That’s a pretty name.”</p><p>“Hey, Murphy.” Jake pats Murphy on the back. “It’s nice to meet you, Emori. I’m Jake.”</p><p>“It’s nice to meet you, too.”</p><p>“Where’re the drinks?” Murphy looks around Jake’s shoulder, and then he and Emori get pointed towards the ice chests. Except, before Emori can even get her bottle cap thrown away, Clarke is pulling her into their dance group. </p><p>Miller sidles up next to Bellamy and holds out another beer, and Bellamy takes it, taking off the cap with his shirt. “So, where’s Collins?”</p><p>Bellamy snorts. “Hell if I know.”</p><p>“Mama Griffin is going to attack him if he doesn’t get here soon.”</p><p>“Yeah, probably.”</p><p>“Bellamy?” Abby appears next to him. “I’m sorry your mom couldn’t be here. But I told her that we would get some food to her once everything is over.”</p><p>“Yeah, she told me.” He nods. “She feels bad about missing today but, you know, work.”</p><p>“Yes, I do.” Abby smiles at him. Over the years, Abby had a lot of shifts she had to work at the hospital which resulted in her missing some things, but everyone understood that she couldn’t say no. “I’ll bring her the plates tomorrow, so I don’t want you to worry about it. We needed to have lunch together anyway.”</p><p>Bellamy smiles. “I think she’d like that.”</p><p>“Good.”</p><p>When Bellamy turns his attention back to the girls dancing, he notices that Clarke has turned her back and her beer is nowhere to be seen. Getting an idea, Bellamy smiles and hands Miller his barely-touched drink and then he starts tiptoeing up behind her. Octavia notices him and grins, the same for Harper and Emori when they see him. And just when he’s about to push her into the pool, Clarke turns around.</p><p>“Got you!” He grins, and Clarke yelps, wrapping her arms around his neck as they both fall back into the water.</p><p>Before he even gets back up through the surface he can hear everyone laughing, and once he shakes his hair out, Clarke pops up beside him.</p><p>“Bellamy!” She lunges for him as best she can, but Bellamy laughs and swims out of reach. “Oh, you are <em> so </em> going to pay for that!”</p><p>“Honestly, this happens every year, how can you <em> still </em> get mad at me?”</p><p>“Because you never wait for me to get my swimsuit on!” She splashes water at him, and he splashes her back.</p><p>“Now, where would the fun in that be?” He grins at her and she swims towards him.</p><p>“Ugh!” She lunges once more and pushes him under the water, and he grabs her hips and moves her off him as he comes back up for air. “I’m not talking to you anymore.”</p><p>She moves to swim to the edge, but Bellamy keeps a hand on her. “That’s not nice.”</p><p>She turns around and glares at him. “Maybe <em> you’re </em> not nice.” Unbothered, he just keeps grinning at her, and after a moment her glare softens and she laughs. That sweet, beautiful laugh that he loves hearing. She pushes out at his shoulder. “I’m still mad at you.”</p><p>“When are you not?” He teases, and Clarke continues to smile at him. <em> God, she’s beautiful</em>. </p><p>Her eyes drift down from his to his lips, and Bellamy holds his breath as he watches her. Whenever she looks back up at him, the color on her cheeks isn’t from laughing, or getting thrown into the semi-cold water. And Bellamy feels like he’s falling into a hole he may never be able to climb out of. She’s the one who looks away first, and this time when she moves for the edge he lets her, then he grabs her waist and helps her hoist herself up onto the concrete.</p><p>“Clarke?” A familiar voice calls, and Bellamy fights his eye roll.</p><p>Once she’s standing on the concrete, Bellamy pushes himself out of the water too, then looks at Finn who’s standing on the back patio. And the other guy doesn’t look too happy. <em> Yeah, I wouldn’t be either. </em></p><p>“Hey, you’re here!” Clarke smiles as she jogs over to him, but he backs up when she tries to hug him, but he places a hand on her waist and gives her a kiss. </p><p>Octavia tosses Bellamy a towel, and he must have some look on his face, because she gives him her Blake Look<b>™</b> and then crosses her arms over her chest. When Bellamy looks back at Clarke and Finn, the two of them are walking back into the house, and Finn has placed a towel over her with his arm around her shoulders. And Bellamy can feel his heart break a little. It shouldn’t bother him, but it does. And he <em> really </em>wishes it wouldn’t.</p><p>Miller hands him his beer back, and Bellamy tries to avoid looking at Jake and Abby. What he just did is something they’ve done for years. They’ve always pushed each other into the pool when the other wasn’t looking, but for a second, he forgot that she had a boyfriend. And that’s not something he can afford to do again.</p><p>He drags off his wet shirt and hangs it over the back of one of the patio chairs then sits down on it, sipping on his beer. He’s not sitting there long until Jasper and Miller end up bringing a long white table out of the shed, and Emori and Murphy walk out of the kitchen with the liquor in their hands. Monty appears by his side with a glass, and Bellamy doesn’t question it when he takes the glass once Monty takes the beer out of his hands.</p><p>When he takes a sip of it, the taste of the alcohol hits him and he coughs a little as he holds the glass up to look at it. “What the hell is this?”</p><p>Monty grins. “Monty’s Magical Mixers.”</p><p>Bellamy narrows his eyes at the drink, then looks between it and his friend. “Do I want to know what makes it magical?”</p><p>“That’s the secret.” Monty winks and turns around to help Jasper and Miller clean off the table, and Bellamy shakes his head. <em> I know better than to ask</em>.</p><p>Despite the look that Finn had on his face earlier, whenever he and Clarke emerge from the house about twenty minutes later he’s smiling and Clarke’s hand is laced with his. When Finn starts talking to Jasper and Octavia, Bellamy can already tell that Clarke is looking at him before he turns to look at her. Her wet clothes are gone now, replaced by a red one-piece, and she smiles a little as she motions that she has her eyes on him. With how he’s feeling, Bellamy can’t do more than give her a half smile, before he follows Jake into the house to get some of the food they’re going to start cooking.</p><p>As time goes on, the more their friends keep him doing things, and the more Bellamy finds that he doesn’t look at Clarke and Finn as much. Of course, it’s hard not to whenever he hears her laugh, because he loves when she laughs and it reminds him of how just the night before they fell asleep on the phone with each other. But every time he looks it feels like his heart is being shattered a little bit more. So, he forces himself to stop looking.</p><p>While he’s watching Jasper and Octavia go up against Murphy and Emori at beer pong, the song “Can’t Take My Eyes Off You” comes on, and after a moment Abby appears at his side. “My husband won’t dance with me, so I was wondering if you’d do me the honor.”</p><p>Bellamy smiles down at her. “Yes, ma’am.”</p><p>When he was younger, Abby was the one who taught him how to dance while Jake taught Clarke, and then the two of them danced together once her parents thought that they got the hang of it. </p><p>He holds out his hand and Abby takes it, and when they’re in an open patch of grass he spins her around and she laughs. He’s watched Jake and Clarke dance a lot, and since he’s been the only other guy around most of the time, Bellamy has danced with his mom and Abby just as much. </p><p>They get into a groove, and Bellamy finds himself smiling a little more. But when he pays attention to the lyrics he finds himself wanting to look to his best friend. Except, when the chorus starts, Bellamy gets caught up in dancing and he thinks about all of the other times he’s danced like this. </p><p>“There’s the smile we’ve been missing,” Abby says when they come back together. “Jake and I were beginning to worry.”</p><p>“There’s nothing to worry about. Just stressed from school.”</p><p>Abby gives him a look. “I may not be your mother but you’re like my son and I can tell when you’re lying.” </p><p>“Yeah, and you and Jake never let me get away with it.” He smiles then spins her around. “It’s nothing.” </p><p>Abby’s eyes move to something over his shoulder then she looks back at him. “She’ll figure it out.”</p><p>Bellamy nearly trips over himself when she says that, but he recovers. He smiles down at her, but with the way she looks at him it must not be convincing. “I don’t know what you mean.” </p><p>Abby huffs, and he’s reminded of Clarke. “Kids.”</p><p>The song ends and Jim Morrison’s “Brown Eyed Girl” begins to play, and Jake comes up beside them. “Alright, give me my wife back,” he teases, and Bellamy grins as he lets Jake take Abby’s hand.</p><p>He grabs another drink from the ice chest, and when he straightens, Clarke is beside him. </p><p>“I don’t remember the last time I’ve seen you dance.” </p><p>“I don’t remember the last time I’ve seen <em> you </em> dance. And I don’t mean at the bar.” He looks down at her and she shrugs.</p><p>“There’s no one who wants to <em> actually </em> dance.” She crosses her arms over her chest as she looks out at her parents, a soft smile making its way onto her lips. “My mom says this was the first song they danced to together.”</p><p>Bellamy looks out at them, too, and the way Jake pulls Abby towards him while he sings into her ear makes him smile. <em> Decades together and still very in love. </em> </p><p>“Do you remember the first song we danced to together?” she asks, and Bellamy can hear the smile in her voice before he even looks at her. </p><p>“How could I forget? You stepped on my toes so much.”</p><p>“That’s not how I remember it.”</p><p>Bellamy crosses his arms over his chest, too, and arches an eyebrow at her. “You just don’t want to admit that I was a better dancer than you.” </p><p>Clarke snorts. “Keep telling yourself that.” </p><p>They stand next to each other, watching her parents dance, and Bellamy thinks about how much they used to dance together. Anytime a song they liked came on, they would always grab each other and try to mimic what they were taught, but it was a mess in the beginning. They could never stop laughing. </p><p>“Think you still have what it takes?” She asks, and Bellamy looks at her. It’s a challenge, he can see it in her eyes, but even though he’s never back down from one, he doesn’t know if this is one he can accept. </p><p>He shouldn’t, since she has a boyfriend and he came very close to saying screw everything and kissing her earlier. <em> I really shouldn’t. </em>He continues to look at her as he tries to decide what to do, but the corners of her mouth turn up. “Or are you scared?” </p><p><em> Okay. If you want to play that way. </em>“If you step on my toes I’m never dancing with you again,” he warns her, and she grins. </p><p>“You should be telling that to yourself.”</p><p>Bellamy shakes his head as he makes his way towards the dock that the phone is hooked up to, and he queues up a song as the one playing finishes. When “Do You Believe In Magic” begins to play through the speakers, Clarke turns around and smiles at him, but then Bellamy’s bubble of excitement bursts when Finn grabs her hand. </p><p>When she turns around to look at her boyfriend, Bellamy already knows what’s happening. As Finn pulls Clarke out to the grass, she looks at Bellamy over her shoulder. And he really wishes she hadn’t. </p><p>“Bell, dance with me.” Octavia appears at his side and Bellamy can feel his jaw flex as he looks away from Clarke and Finn.</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“Nothing good is going to happen if you just stay in this corner and glare at them.”</p><p>“I’m not glaring.”</p><p>“Look,” his little sister moves into his line of sight. “I’m so fucking tired of watching you make sad love glances at her and pouting whenever you see her with Finn. You love her, don’t you?”</p><p>Bellamy’s eyes widen as he looks around to make sure no one hears her, even though Clarke is too far away for that to be a problem.</p><p>“Shut up, O.”</p><p>“No, I won’t.” She crosses her arms over her chest and glares at him. “You love her, now do something about it!”</p><p>“Do <em> what </em>? She has a boyfriend,” he hisses.</p><p>“<em>So?</em>” The two of them look at each other, then eventually Octavia shakes her head. “I get you’re scared, Bellamy, I’m sure she is, too, but she deserves to know the truth. If she doesn't know how you feel, then the two of you might never figure it out.” And with that, his little sister leaves him standing by the speakers, and Bellamy decides to go inside and grab some food. </p><p>For the rest of the evening, everyone alternates between swimming, playing beer pong, dancing, and some of them even do a few rounds of poker on the patio table. It’s just like all of the other times they’ve had like this, even though he and Clarke seem to be keeping a little more space between the two of them. They still look at each other whenever one of their friends does something, and all of their years together is what keeps them connected. Even though he feels like they’re miles apart.</p><p>After a while, Bellamy has to use the bathroom and decides to change into some dry clothes for the time being since his swim trunks were beginning to chafe him. When he walks out of the bathroom, movement off to the side catches his attention, and when he looks, Clarke is pacing in her room with her door open. Her thumbnail is caught between her teeth and her other arm is wrapped around her waist as she moves.</p><p>“Clarke?” He calls, and her head snaps in his direction. He balls his wet trunks up in his hand and walks towards her. “You good?”</p><p>“Yeah.” She nods, but there’s a look in her eye that betrays her. <em> Why does she seem nervous? </em></p><p>“Clarke.” He crosses his arms over his chest and looks at her. Her hand drops from her mouth and she bites down on her lower lip, her eyes widening as she looks up at him.</p><p>“Finn told me he loves me.” Her voice is low, and soft, and Bellamy almost thinks he must not have heard her correctly, but the way she looks at him tells him that he heard her loud and clear. And his heart breaks a little. But, instead of being upset, he finds himself getting angry.</p><p><em> He thinks he can say that and make everything okay? After treating her the way he has? </em> Everything that’s happened over the last six months plays in his mind, and he shakes his head. <em> He doesn’t love her. Not in the way she should be loved</em>. And then, he snorts.</p><p>“What’s that supposed to mean?” Clarke’s eyes narrow at him, and Bellamy looks down at her. She’s pissed, but he can’t stand here and act like that Finn actually loves her. Not after everything he’s put her through.</p><p>“Nothing. Forget about it.” Bellamy drops his hands and turns around, walking out of her room and towards the stairs.</p><p>“No. You have something you want to say, so fucking say it, Bellamy.” He can hear her coming down the steps behind him, but he doesn’t turn around until she reaches out and forces him to. “Bellamy!”</p><p>“Okay! You want to know what it is? He doesn’t love you.” </p><p>Clarke’s mouth drops open like he’s slapped her, but she closes it and glares at him. “How could you fucking <em> say that </em> to me? Is it that crazy that someone might actually care about me?”</p><p>“Of course, it’s not, Clarke. But it’s crazy to believe that after the shit he’s put you through that he loves you! If he loved you, he wouldn’t have you crying and listening to sad songs and drinking after the two of you have a fight. That’s not love.”</p><p>“And how would you know what love is, Bellamy? You’ve never loved anyone or anything besides your mom, your sister, and yourself your entire life!”</p><p>Clarke’s jaw is set, but there are tears welling in her eyes as they look at each other, and Bellamy can feel his heart shatter into a million pieces at the sight. <em> I don’t think I’ve ever made her cry before</em>.</p><p>He swallows around the lump that’s trying to form in his throat and looks at her. “You and I both know that that’s not true.”</p><p>It’s not an admission. Not entirely. But Clarke’s eyes widen as she sucks in a breath. He’s vaguely aware of other people near the backdoor, and he’s pretty sure he can hear Octavia whisper <em> fuck</em>, but he ignores them. The tears flow freely down Clarke’s cheeks now, but he doesn’t move to try and wipe them away. Or take her in his arms like he’s done before. And after tonight, he probably never will again.</p><p>It takes everything in him to walk away from her. Away from his sister and his friends calling his name. Away from Jake and Abby who are also calling for him to come back. He grabs his keys from the hook beside the door and pushes his way outside, then takes off towards his car. Luckily, no one parked behind him so he has a straight shot out of the driveway and onto the road. </p><p>He doesn’t have any destination in mind when he starts driving, but when he thinks back to that night seven years ago, he finds himself standing on his mom’s porch a few minutes later. He unlocks the door with shaking hands and walks in, breathing in the familiar smell of his childhood home. And even though he tries to be quiet, the hall light comes on and his mom appears at the end of it with her robe wrapped around her.</p><p>“Bellamy?” He stands there as she walks up to him, and when she’s in front of him, she reaches up and cups his face in her hands.</p><p>“You were right,” his voice breaks. “I should have told her sooner.” Aurora says nothing as she wraps him in a hug, and Bellamy buries his face in her shoulder while the tears he tried to keep back begin to flow freely. <em> I should have told her a lot sooner</em>.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Well...he talked to her...</p><p>I hope you liked it!<br/>Xx</p><p> </p><p>**I feel like I should note that Bellamy wasn’t drunk when he left. Everyone’s drinking kind of calmed down and he didn’t want to get drunk so he started drinking water a couple of hours before. Which him being sober is what made him realize that he wanted dry clothes lol at least, that’s what I had in mind whenever I wrote this.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bellamy wakes up in his old bedroom with the sunlight shining through the curtains and a terrible headache. If he thought his hangover yesterday was bad, he wasn’t prepared for the one that came after another day of drinking and then actually crying. <em> Fuck, I need water. </em> He runs his hand over his face and looks towards his bedroom door, but he can’t seem to find the motivation to move. </p><p><em> I should probably go home</em>, he tells himself. <em> If Abby comes by, I don’t want to be here. </em> What would he say to her? What would she say to him? He and Clarke have had arguments over the years, sure, but he’s never made her cry. And he told her that he loved her in a roundabout way while also telling her that her boyfriend of six months doesn’t love her. <em> God, I really screwed up. </em></p><p>His eyes drift around the room lazily, but when they land on an old picture that Clarke did for him, he closes his eyes and rolls over onto his side, burying his face in a pillow. <em> I can’t get away from her, can I? </em> And he understands just how true that is. She’s <em> everywhere</em>. Which is to be expected since they’ve intertwined so much of their lives together. If he goes into his bathroom, there’s going to be a toothbrush for her. When he opens his dresser, there’s going to be some of her clothes littered in with his. The mantle in the living room has a lot of pictures of him and her, and of the two of them with Octavia. And the fridge still has her high school graduation picture on it. </p><p>Groaning, he reaches blindly for his phone that’s on his nightstand and looks at it through one eye. Dozens of texts, about ten missed calls, mostly from Octavia, but all saying the same thing.</p><p>
  <em> You should come back </em>
</p><p><em> Don’t be so dramatic. </em> <em><br/>
</em> <em> Come back and talk to her  </em></p><p>
  <em> That’s one way to do it </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Please tell me you’re safe, Bell </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Where did you go? </em>
</p><p><em> I called mom and she said you’re with her so that makes us feel better. </em> <em><br/>
</em> <em> Clarke was really worried, too </em></p><p>The list goes on, and even though he knew he wouldn’t have a message from Clarke, he can’t help the pang in his chest when he doesn’t see her name. <em> Of course I wouldn’t. </em> Taking a deep breath, Bellamy peels the covers off him and stands up slowly, trying not to agitate his already throbbing head, then shuffles into the bathroom. </p><p>While he’s in the shower he tries not to think about everything that he just ruined, but when he walks back into his room, it’s hard not to.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Bellamy?” Clarke’s voice is soft, and with the storm raging outside he’s surprised he even heard her. “Are you awake?”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “No,” he mumbles, and he can feel Clarke shift around beside him. When he opens his eyes, his room has been swallowed by the darkness, but as the lightning flashes outside, he can just make out Clarke’s wide eyes. “What’s wrong?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “The storm,” she whispers.  </em>
</p><p>Right. How could I forget? <em> Bellamy rolls onto his side and looks at her. “We’re safe in here. You know that.”  </em></p><p>
  <em> “No. I know.” The thunder sounds and Bellamy can feel the bed shake when Clarke jumps. “I’m sorry for waking you up.”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “It’s okay.”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The two of them were supposed to be doing their homework, but instead ended up putting on Inkheart and falling asleep. When the lightning strikes again, Bellamy can see tears pooling in Clarke’s eyes and he reaches out to grab her hand. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Did you go to sleep?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Yeah. But then the thunder woke me up. I don’t think there’s any power, either.” Her voice wobbles at the end, and Bellamy squeezes her hand. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> For as long as they’ve known each other, Clarke has always been afraid of storms, but Bellamy loves them. He would always want to open the curtains so he could see what was going on outside, and even though he usually got fed up with not having electricity, he enjoyed the silence that came with it. And once it’s all over, he enjoys the smell after it rains. This isn’t the first time she’s woken him up from a storm, and he knows it probably won’t be the last.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Even though he can feel sleep wanting to pull him back in, and his eyes are wanting to droop, he forces himself to stay awake. “Want me to go get a candle?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “No, it’s fine.” She sniffles a little. “My mom says I need to get over this so maybe I should start trying.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> If he were more awake, he might try offering her some sort of advice, but he’s too tired to try and form a coherent sentence in his mind. “What do you need me to do?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Thunder sounds again, and Clarke holds onto his hand tighter. “I don’t know.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Bellamy bites the inside of his cheek trying to think of something. “I could tell you a story. We haven’t done that in a while.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Which story?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “What story do you want to hear?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Surprise me.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Okay.” Bellamy runs through different possibilities in his tired mind, and then: “Once upon a time, there was a princess…” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Clarke falls asleep almost immediately, and she’s the last thing Bellamy sees before he slips back into the darkness. </em>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Bellamy shakes his head and moves to grab some clean clothes. Since his mom worked all day yesterday, he’s hoping that he can leave her a note and get out of the house before she wakes up, but he’s never been very good at sneaking around her. </p><p>When he opens the door to his room, he doesn’t hear anything so he starts to tiptoe down the hall, but when he gets towards the end of it, he can hear his mom in the dining room and the sound of a mug being placed on the wooden table.</p><p>“I can imagine. He was a mess, too.”</p><p>
  <em> Too? She’s talking about me? </em>
</p><p>“How is she?” Bellamy’s heart rate picks up and his mouth goes dry at the mention of Clarke. “I’m not surprised. I’ve never seen him like this. No, he didn’t tell me. What happened?”</p><p>Not wanting to hear anymore of it, Bellamy turns around and heads back towards his room. <em> She has to be talking to Abby</em>. He shuts the door as quietly as he can, and then takes a few deep breaths to try and calm his racing heart. He grabs a piece of paper and scribbles a little note on it then places it on his nightstand before walking over to his window and opening it, hauling himself out of his room and outside. Yeah, he might be overreacting a little, but right now he’d rather sneak away in his car instead of facing his mom and having to talk to her about what happened. She tried to get him to talk to her about what happened, but he didn’t want to. </p><p>He still doesn’t want to.</p><p>Luckily, his car doesn’t make too much noise when he starts it, and he backs out of the driveway and starts towards his apartment. It’s early enough to where everyone should probably still be at the Griffin’s, so he can get to his room and stay there. Of course, when Miller and Murphy get home there’s a good chance they might not leave him alone, but he’ll take whatever he can get right now. </p><p><em> Mom is going to kill me for sneaking out</em>. As soon as the thought is in his head, his phone vibrates and Bellamy glances at it when he pulls up to a redlight.</p><p><em> I was going to make breakfast, but I guess this saves me having to wash dishes </em> <em><br/>
</em> <em> I’m here for whenever you want to talk </em></p><p>Bellamy sends his mom a silent thanks, then his thoughts drift to the fact that he’ll be able to go back to sleep once he gets home because his head is still killing him.</p><p>The apartment is dark, and even though he’s lived there for a few years at this point, it doesn’t exactly feel like <em> home</em>, which is a good thing because his mom’s house held too much. Of course, his room here isn’t much better, considering Clarke still has some of her things stuffed into his drawers and his closet, but it’s not as much. There’s no pictures of them on the fridge, none hanging on the walls, no artwork. Just some of her things shut away and some of the books she’s given him blending into his shelves. </p><p>After Bellamy grabs a bottle of water out of the kitchen, he drags himself into his room. He doesn't bother to turn on the light as he makes his way towards his bed, and he throws himself onto it, sighing in relief when the pressure he’s been feeling lets up a little. He closes his eyes, and the throbbing in his head softens, and Bellamy lets himself get taken away by sleep. And, thankfully, he doesn’t dream of her.</p><p>Bellamy doesn’t wake up when Murphy and Miller get home, but instead he wakes up when it’s already dark outside and he can hear the T.V. playing in the living room. When he looks at the clock on his nightstand, he realizes he’s already slept well into the evening. There’s a drool spot on his pillow and the pain in his head is gone, so when he stands up, he doesn’t feel like the room is spinning.</p><p>He knows he won’t be able to hide from his friends forever, so, stealing himself, he opens the door to his room and starts towards the kitchen to look for some food. He still doesn’t feel great, all things considered, but his appetite has definitely come back with a vengeance. When he walks out of the hallway, Miller is sitting on the couch eating a bowl of cereal, and they look at each other, but Miller just waves his spoon and goes back to eating and watching T.V. Murphy isn’t anywhere to be seen, and Bellamy assumes that he’s probably at Emori’s.</p><p>When he opens the fridge, there’s a few plates covered with aluminum foil, and Bellamy’s name has been written on one in sharpie. <em> Must be the leftovers</em>. He pulls the plate out and raises an eyebrow at how heavy it is, and when he takes the foil off his mouth waters. He feels bad as he looks at it since it’s from the night he made a mess of his friendship, but he’s hungry, and he’s sad, and he helped cook it, so he lets out a long breath and moves to put the food in the microwave.</p><p>Once it’s heated up, he goes and sits on the couch next to Miller, and starts watching <em> The Mechanic</em>. Thankfully, Miller doesn’t say anything and Bellamy doesn’t bring up what happened either. That can be a conversation for another day.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>The rest of Spring Break goes by in a blur for the most part, with Bellamy dodging questions from Octavia and having more of their friends come over than usual but, luckily for him, no one brings up what happened. He can feel everyone looking at him, but he ignores them. If he wants to talk, he will. But he doesn’t.</p><p>When classes start back after the break, it takes everything in him not to message Clarke and ask if she wants to meet up for lunch, something they’ve been doing at least once a week since they got to college. But, with only a few weeks left before finals, he can use the time to catch up on all of the reading he didn’t do over the break and get a head start on all of the projects that are going to be due during dead week. </p><p>The days blend together, and even though he hangs out with everyone else like nothing happened, something did happen, and his best friend isn’t with him because of it. Sure, the way he’s just going day to day not doing much other than school work probably isn’t the best thing he could do, but it’s certainly not the worst. And, some nights, he finds himself incapable of focusing on his work because he keeps looking at his phone, wishing he could talk to her.</p><p><em> She’ll answer a text</em>, he tries to tell himself. <em> Maybe if I didn’t tell her that her boyfriend wasn’t in love with her. </em> He rests his head in his hands, and looks down at the notebook paper in front of him. On nights like these, when he’s staying up late, Clarke would usually send him a meme or a funny picture to try and give him some sort of break, just as he does with her, but his phone hasn’t had her name on it’s screen in what feels like a lifetime.</p><p>Realizing that he’s probably not going to get any more studying done, Bellamy hauls himself out of his desk chair and into his bed, grabbing a marbled notebook and a pen off his nightstand. He opens the cover, seeing his handwriting sprawled across the page at different angles for different story ideas. Jake was the one who encouraged him to start writing down his ideas, and Clarke took it upon herself to supply him with notebooks whenever she felt like he needed one and was always surprised when he wrote down her ideas, too. He clicks the pen a couple of times, and then flips to a blank page, letting the ink dance across the lines.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>It’s been two weeks since everything happened, and to say that Bellamy feels slightly better would be a lie. It feels like something has been ripped out of his chest, away from him, and he wishes he could have it back. But he doesn’t know what to say to her. He could apologize, but he believed everything he said. Finn couldn’t treat her like that and then turn around and tell her that he loves her. She doesn’t deserve to be treated like that. <em> But you didn’t have to be such an asshole about it</em>.</p><p>Bellamy rolls over on the couch and looks at the T.V. Miller is at work, and Murphy is out with Emori, so he has the apartment to himself for now. And everyone is dealing with the stress of everything right before dead week, so he likes the break.</p><p>Just as his eyes are beginning to droop, a knock comes at his door and his head snaps towards it. <em> Who is that? </em> He gets up, running his hand through his hair as he walks towards it. <em> It can’t be her. Can it? </em> Opting against looking out of the peephole, Bellamy opens the door. There’s a Griffin standing on the other side of it, just not the one he hoped for.</p><p>Jake’s hands are stuffed in his pockets, and he smiles when he sees Bellamy, but Bellamy can only manage what he assumes is a grimace.</p><p>“You look like hell, son,” Jake teases, and before Bellamy can respond, the other man is pulling him in for a hug. “What’s this? Getting started on your graduate school beard early?”</p><p>“Something like that.” Bellamy moves out the way and Jake walks further into the apartment, looking around. He hasn’t been here since Bellamy moved into the place, but that’s just because Bellamy always preferred to go to the Griffin’s. Everyone did. He leans against the counter in the kitchen and looks at him. “Uh, don’t take this the wrong way but what are you doing here?”</p><p>“What? I can’t check up on my adopted kid?” </p><p>Bellamy looks away, picking at something on the kitchen counter. “I just thought, after everything…”</p><p>“That we wouldn’t want anything to do with you? You’re family.”</p><p>“I’m sure she doesn’t see it that way,” he mumbles, and Jake moves around the counter and stands in front of him, crossing his arms over his chest.</p><p>“And what makes you say that?”</p><p>“I yelled at her, Jake. I told her that her boyfriend doesn’t love her and—”</p><p>“Well, do you think he does?”</p><p>Bellamy looks up at him. “No, I don’t. Like I told her, he can’t treat her like that and call it love.”</p><p>“You told her what you believed to be the truth, Bellamy. Which is something the two of you have always done. Do you remember the hair gel phase you went through?” Bellamy physically cringes at the memory and nods a little. “You thought you looked great, and then what did Clarke do?”</p><p>“She told me that as my best friend she couldn’t let me walk around like that and then sprayed me with the hose from the kitchen sink.”</p><p>Jake laughs a little. “Yeah, she did.”</p><p>“But that was over hair gel, not my love life.”</p><p>“Maybe not, but my point is that even if there was the possibility that the other might be a little hurt by what’s said, you’ve always been honest with each other. And she can’t be angry with you for that.”</p><p>“But I also made her cry.” The image of tears rolling down her cheeks comes back into his mind and Bellamy looks away again. “I’ve never made her cry, and I always hated anyone who did, and then it was me.”</p><p>“I’m not saying that you didn’t do anything wrong, because both of you did, but don’t be so hard on yourself because of it.” Clarke’s dad takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. “Of all of the years Clarke has been dating, you know as well as I do that there have been tears, I know you’ve had a few of your own, but none of those compare to that night.”</p><p>Tears form in his eyes but he doesn’t try to blink them away. “Why are you telling me this?” </p><p>“I’m telling you this because you think she doesn’t care about you anymore, or that she doesn’t want to talk to you, but that couldn’t be farther from the truth. You’re both hurting, and it’s not my place to try and get you two to talk through everything, neither is it Abby’s or your mom’s, but you have to know that you’ll find your way back to each other. You always do, don’t you?”</p><p>Bellamy sniffles, and reaches up to wipe away a tear that’s fallen. “I don’t think we will, not after this.”</p><p>“I disagree.” Jake reaches out and places his hand on Bellamy’s shoulder. “You two have been joined at the hip since you were kids, and you love her.” Bellamy’s lips part and his eyes widen when he says those words, and Jake raises an eyebrow. “Did you really think none of us noticed?”</p><p>“Uh—”</p><p>“Bellamy, you look at my daughter like she hung the moon and the stars and breathed life into the world. That’s kind of hard to hide, don’t you think?” Bellamy can feel his cheeks pink and he looks away. “You love her, and after that night, I don’t think there’s any way you could walk away from each other.”</p><p>Bellamy looks back up at the man who's been like a father to him his entire life, and he can’t help but see where Clarke gets her firmness from. After a moment, Bellamy nods his head and Jake squeezes his shoulder. </p><p>“Good. Now, let’s get you out of this cave and get some food.”</p><p>“Oh, I might need to take a quick shower.”</p><p>“Tell me about it.” The corner’s of Jake’s mouth turn up at the jab. “Go get washed up, I’ll look for a place to eat.”</p><p><em> You don’t have to tell me twice. </em> Bellamy jogs down the hall and into the bathroom. He still doesn’t feel a lot better, but he has more hope now than he did before. If Jake believes that he and Clarke will come back to each other in the end, then he has to believe that. He wants to believe it. Even if she doesn’t feel the same way, she’s his best friend, and he couldn’t imagine living his life without her. It’s how they’ve spent their entire lives. So, yeah, he has hope now.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>When finals week starts that following week, Bellamy pulls out his phone and goes to his text messages with Clarke. The ones she sent him the day of the barbeque stare back at him, and he swallows hard as he begins to type.</p><p>
  <em> Kick your finals in the ass </em>
</p><p>He hurries and sends it before he can second-guess himself, then throws his phone on the bed as he gets to work studying for his own finals. He can hear it vibrate on the covers, but he’s too nervous to look at it immediately. Except, he can’t do anything for the next couple of minutes until he reaches for it.</p><p><em> Don’t I always? But good luck </em> <em><br/>
</em> <em> not like u need it </em></p><p>Bellamy smiles, and he can feel his heart beat a little stronger.</p><p>
  <em> Neither do you </em>
</p><p>He stares at the screen, wondering if she’ll text him back, even though he knows there’s a good possibility that she won’t. After a minute, he gets out of the texts and puts his phone on silent as he gets back to work. It’s not much, but it’s enough to make him smile just a little bit more.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Finals are <em> finally </em> done, and everyone is burnt out. Bellamy is the only one still out in the living room, and he’s stretched out on the couch, content to sleep there tonight. Usually, everyone plans to get together at some point after they’ve all recuperated and their brains don’t feel like mush anymore, but there hasn’t been any mention of one. Of course, Bellamy wants to see Clarke again, but he’s not sure he’s ready to see Clarke <em> and </em>Finn. </p><p>When his phone starts vibrating, Bellamy reaches for it, intending on putting it on silent, but when he looks at the screen, his heart skips a beat. He sits up, swiping to answer the call.</p><p>“Clarke?”</p><p>“Bellamy?” Her voice is soft, and Bellamy has never been happier to hear it. “Hey.”</p><p>“Hey,” he breathes. There’s a noise on her end, and Bellamy stills. “Are you okay?”</p><p>“Yeah, I’m okay, but I was wondering if you could come pick me up. Um—”</p><p>“Where are you?” Bellamy stands and starts towards the door of the apartment, grabbing his keys off the counter and slipping on his shoes before she can respond.</p><p>“I walked to the park. I’m sitting near the snowball stand.”</p><p>“You walked to the park from your apartment?” Bellamy’s eyebrows raise as he walks out of the door and starts towards his car. When he steps outside he can tell it’s about to rain.</p><p>“No. I walked from Finn’s apartment.”</p><p><em> That doesn’t sound good. But she’s not crying</em>. “Did something happen?”</p><p>“Yeah, but it’s fine. I’ll be waiting for you.”</p><p>“Okay. I’ll be there in a few minutes.”</p><p>“Thanks, Bellamy.”</p><p>“No problem, princess.” </p><p>Since it’s nearly just past midnight there’s hardly anyone else out on the road, so Bellamy allows himself to drive a little faster than he normally would. His mind reels with what could have happened. But, he also thinks about how, even though they haven’t talked to each other in the past month other than the texts a week ago, she still called him. It’s what they’ve always done, and he’s happy that it’s still happening. Despite everything. </p><p>His heart rate picks up when he can see her sitting on top of the picnic table, and when he parks, he gets out. <em> Of course, it would have to be that table. </em> The memory of when they were sitting at that table when they were fourteen comes back, and when Clarke turns around to look at him, it’s like he’s caught between the past and now. The memory of a girl wearing a baseball hat and an old t-shirt fades out into a woman whose hair is lifting up in the wind and wearing a beautiful dress. But their smiles are the same, and Bellamy’s heart aches.</p><p>“Bellamy.” Clarke slides off the top of the table and runs towards him, barely giving him enough time to plant his feet so she doesn’t knock him over. </p><p>He smiles as he nudges into her shoulder, and Clarke buries her face in his neck. They’ve had arguments before, and fights, but never ones that actually felt like things had been changed between them. They hold onto each other for a moment, and Clarke mumbles into his shoulder.</p><p>“I missed you.”</p><p>“I missed you, too.” When they pull apart, the corners of her eyes are wet, but she smiles a little at him. “I’m so sorry.”</p><p>“I know.” She reaches out and squeezes his hand. “I want to go home.”</p><p><em> Home. </em> He smiles. “Let’s go.” </p><p>On the ride back to his apartment, Clarke keeps looking out of the window and up at the sky, and he begins to wonder if she’s worried about the storm. He really wants to ask her what happened, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t expect her to start telling him things again, especially when it comes to Finn, but he still hopes he can be there for her like before. When they park in front of his apartment, neither of them say anything, but just having her with him again is enough. </p><p>Once in the apartment, Clarke kicks off her shoes, and Bellamy heads towards the kitchen. Now that he’s home he can feel his body wanting to go to sleep, but he still pulls out the hot chocolate and milk, and even some spiced rum as he makes each of them a glass of hot chocolate. Clarke stays beside him while he makes it, and she grins when she picks up the bottle. When they’re done, Bellamy hands her mug to her and they head into the living room, sinking into the couch. </p><p>Clarke tucks her legs under her, and when she takes her first sip of her drink her eyes flutter closed and a soft smile makes its way onto her face. </p><p>“Good?”</p><p>“The best.” When she looks at him, her blue eyes seem to be glowing in the dim lighting. “It sucked always wanting hot chocolate but not having anyone to make it. I tried, but,” she shrugs, “it was never good.”</p><p>Bellamy can feel his heart constrict, but he tries to push it away for now. “It’s literally just milk and powder.”</p><p>“I know! But I can never do it.” She looks at him. “You’re my hot chocolate maker.” And with the intensity of her eyes on him, Bellamy can’t hold back any more.</p><p>“Clarke, I’m sorry,” he blurts out. “I shouldn’t have said what I did, and it was fucked up for me to do it in the first place, let alone in front of everyone else. I screwed up majorly, and I don’t expect you to forgive me. But I will never hurt you like that again. I made you cry, and I feel like shit about it.”</p><p>Her eyes are wide as she looks at him, and she sits up a little straighter, then thumbs the rim of her mug. “Bellamy, it’s okay. You were being honest with me.” </p><p>“I—”</p><p>“You tried to tell me about him, and I didn’t listen.” Bellamy can feel his eyebrows knit together as he looks at her, and she bites at the inside of her cheek. “After you left, I told myself that it wasn’t true. But, after I calmed down, I realized that you were right. He wouldn’t put me through what he did if he actually cared about me. I went over to his place to break up with him tonight,” she looks away from him, “and when I was there another girl showed up. As soon as he opened the door she started kissing him, and I realized that he really didn’t love me.”</p><p>“Clarke, I’m so sorry.”</p><p>“No, it’s okay.” When she looks back up at him, there aren’t any tears in her eyes. “I didn’t love him. I wanted to, and I think that’s why I stayed with him for so long, but in the end it just wasn’t there.”</p><p>“But he still cheated on you.”</p><p>Clarke nods. “Yeah, that didn’t feel good.” She takes another sip of her drink. “But, I feel so bad for the other girl,” she murmurs, and Bellamy reaches out, squeezing her knee.</p><p>“You couldn’t have known, Clarke.”</p><p>“I know, but still.” She gives him a small smile, but the sound of thunder off in the distance catches her attention. Her lips press in a thin line, and when she looks back at him, he feels like he already knows what she’s going to say. “Could I borrow some clothes and maybe we could watch a movie?”</p><p>“Like you even have to ask.” </p><p>The smile she gives him is stunning, and she wastes no time putting her mug down and heading for his room. When she’s out of sight Bellamy looks towards the window, and even though he can’t see anything through the blinds since it’s so dark, he wonders if this is going to be a bad storm like everyone’s been talking about. </p><p>When Clarke reappears, she’s carrying one of the blankets that he keeps in his closet, and she smiles at him as she folds herself onto the couch next to him and places the blanket over the two of them. It’s getting late, so no matter what movie they put on there’s a very good chance they’ll both fall asleep, <em> but at least she’ll be here when I wake up</em>.</p><p>“What movie do you want to watch?” He asks, flipping through the different apps on the T.V., and Clarke yawns.</p><p>“<em>Frozen</em>.”</p><p>Bellamy smirks as he opens the Vudu app and searches for it. Once it’s bought and ready to play, he asks if she wants more hot chocolate but Clarke shakes her head. Thunder sounds outside and Bellamy can hear the raindrops hitting the window now, and the couch shakes a little as Clarke jumps. He presses play on the movie then looks at her. Her eyes are wide and her bottom lip is caught between her teeth, but without second-guessing himself, Bellamy motions for her to come closer, and she leans her head on his shoulder, wrapping her hands around his arm. He rests his head on top of hers, and she hums a little.</p><p>Thinking back on the night all those years ago, Bellamy leans his head against hers. They haven’t talked about what he said, and maybe that’s for the best. Abby and Jake seemed sure that the two of them would figure it out, but Bellamy doesn’t know if they will or not. Just because he loves Clarke doesn’t mean she loves him. </p><p>He wakes up when Olaf is trying to get Anna warm, and Bellamy feels pretty warm himself. When he looks over, Clarke is still holding onto his arm, but he can hear her snoring slightly and it pulls a smile to his lips. He nudges her a little and she moves, which gives him an opportunity to take his arm back, and then he holds her still as he stands. Even asleep Clarke wraps her arms around him when he picks her up, and walks her to his bedroom. </p><p>It’s completely dark, so he has to make sure not to hit anything, but he gets her to his bed and tucked in. Like all the other nights he’s put her to bed, he goes to kiss the top of her head, only realizing a second too late that it might be too much. <em> It was probably always too much</em>. The kiss is light and quick, and Clarke doesn’t move from it, so he breathes out a silent sigh of relief. </p><p>Except, when he goes to walk away, her hand darts out and grabs his. Bellamy stills, looking down at her. He can’t see much, but he can see that her eyes are still closed. But then, a soft <em> Bellamy </em> escapes her lips, and his heart flips. He holds her hand for a second, but when it turns into a weight and begins to slip  out of his, he tucks it under the blanket then walks back out into the living room.</p><p>When he falls back onto the couch, the movie is nearing the end, and Bellamy decides to let it keep playing. He feels like there’s been a weight lifted off his chest, even though there’s still a little nervousness about whether or not they’ll ever talk about what he said. As his eyes close, he lets himself get swept away by sleep, and for the first time in a month he actually dreams again.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Of course they came back to each other :)</p><p>I hope you liked it!<br/>Xx</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Now for the chapter you’ve all been waiting for... I hope you enjoy it :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bellamy wakes up to the feeling of his blanket moving. “Clarke, what are you doing?”</p>
<p>“Laying down.” She says it like it’s what she’s always done and before Bellamy can respond, the couch dips and Clarke presses herself next to him. “It’s still storming.”</p>
<p>He moves to roll further onto his side to give her more room, but the action causes Clarke to roll back and Bellamy reaches out to keep her from falling off the couch. Except, when his hand lands on her hip, he realizes that she’s not wearing his sweatpants anymore, she’s only in her underwear and his t-shirt. He has to force himself not to react, after all, he’s seen her in a bikini before. He decides to keep his eyes closed and act like he’s going back to sleep. </p>
<p>“What do you want me to do?”</p>
<p>“Nothing,” she whispers. He doesn’t remember the last time she came to lay down with him during a storm. <em> Especially not after that night. </em></p>
<p>They stay like that for a moment, their breathing the only sound aside from the rain outside. When her hand comes up to cup the side of his face, he opens his eyes. The TV is still on and it casts light across the living room, enough so he can see her blue eyes looking back at him. He doesn’t move, and her thumb runs over his cheekbone a few times, and then she just holds his face.</p>
<p>He’s dreamed about this, just this, more than he can count over the past seven years, and his heart feels like it’s a bird trying to get out of a cage. He doesn’t know what to do, what <em> she’s </em> going to do, so he waits. Afraid that if he makes one wrong move then they’ll be right back where they were a month ago. </p>
<p>“Why did you stop sleeping with me?” She murmurs, and out of all of the things he thought she might say, that wasn’t one of them. Before he can answer, she keeps going, but she’s not looking in his eyes. Her hand moves, and her thumb runs over his bottom lip slowly. </p>
<p>“That first night, you said you weren’t feeling good, so I thought we’d go back to how things were after that. But we didn’t. I thought maybe I did something, but you didn’t act differently with me. So, I just assumed that you thought it was weird.” </p>
<p>She looks up at him then, and Bellamy is captivated. Her thumb continues to move on his lips, and he closes his eyes as he kisses the pad of it. When he looks back at her, he knows it’s now or never. </p>
<p>“That first night was the day I realized I was in love with you,” he murmurs, and Clarke’s lips part. “I couldn’t sleep beside you knowing how I felt about you. It felt like if I did, then I was gaining something from it without you knowing, and I didn’t want to take advantage of you.”</p>
<p>“Bellamy—”</p>
<p>“I’ve been in love with you our entire lives, Clarke.”</p>
<p>Her hand moves to cup the side of his face again, and she smiles. “I’ve been in love with you, too, Bellamy.” </p>
<p>Hearing those words causes Bellamy’s heart to expand, and his grip on her hip tightens for a moment before he runs his thumb over the skin above her waistband. <em> She loves me, too. </em></p>
<p>“When I realized it, I thought it was just hormones. You’re hot,” her smile widens and Bellamy’s heart flutters. “You’re my best friend, and I thought that if you knew then you wouldn’t want to be friends with me anymore.” Her eyes drop from his, but she keeps her hand where it is. “You already stopped sleeping with me, so I didn’t want to lose you completely.”</p>
<p>“Walking away from you that night was one of the hardest things I ever did at the time. And then I ended up walking away from you again seven years later.” Bellamy takes a deep breath and leans forward, resting his forehead against hers. “God, I was stupid.”</p>
<p>“Hey,” her nose rubs against his, and he looks at her. “Do something about it now.”</p>
<p>Bellamy smiles and he leans forward, ghosting his lips over hers. He watches as her eyes flutter closed, and the hand that’s resting on his cheek moves towards the nape of his neck. He can feel her breath gliding across his skin, and then he presses his lips to hers.</p>
<p>Her lips are soft, and they pull each other closer as their tongues meet each other. She’s soft, and warm, he can taste the mintyness of her toothpaste. Their tongues wrap around each other’s, and Clarke hums softly into his mouth. Bellamy’s hand that’s resting on her hip tightens and he pulls her hips towards his, but Clarke slots her leg between his and because of the movement, his hand slips closer to her ass. He knows where he wants this to go, but he’s not sure if she wants the same thing.</p>
<p><em> Her relationship ended tonight and she found out that the guy she had been dating for the past six months has another girlfriend</em>. His fingers move under the hem of her shirt slightly, just far enough to where he can feel the top of the waistband of her underwear laying against her skin. When their kiss ends, Bellamy rests his forehead against hers, and her fingers comb through his hair. His heart feels like it’s trying to beat out of his chest, and when she looks up at him all of the thoughts he had when he was fourteen comes back. She smiles softly at him, and her hand that’s running through his hair comes back to rest on the side of his face.</p>
<p>“What do you want, Clarke?” His voice is rough, and Clarke presses even closer to him.</p>
<p>“I want you to show me what it’s like,” she whispers.</p>
<p>“What what’s like?”</p>
<p>“To be loved by you.” Her blue eyes are wide, and soft, and the words sound so sweet coming out of her mouth.</p>
<p>He captures her lips with his again, and a hum sounds deep in his throat. The hand that’s under her shirt moves up and he threads his fingers into her hair as he holds the back of her head. When she nips at his bottom lip, their lives together flash through his mind, and he tries to hold her closer. <em> Show me what it’s like...to be loved by you</em>. Bellamy breaks the kiss so he can try and sit up, but the couch isn’t as big as it should be for what he’s trying to do. </p>
<p>Clarke leans back a little, and Bellamy keeps an arm around her to keep her from falling as he gets off the couch. When he looks at her, her lips are swollen and her shirt has ridden up, exposing the lower part of her stomach, and the way she looks up at him reminds him of how Jake said he looked at her. <em> You look at my daughter like she hung the moon and the stars and breathed life into the world</em>. And, yeah, he does.</p>
<p>He leans down and picks her up off the couch, and Clarke wraps her legs around his waist while her arms go around his shoulders. Holding her like this feels as natural as breathing. The way she smiles down at him and the feeling of her playing with his hair...<em>this is what I’ve been missing all of these years</em>. He toes open the door to his room and with the light coming in from the street, he makes his way to his bed and lays her down as he crawls on beside her. She’s still looking at him like she’s wondering what he’s going to do next, and he leans forward and gives her a soft kiss. Her hold on his hair tightens, and Bellamy wraps one of his arms around her waist, rubbing small circles over the fabric of her shirt.</p>
<p>“I’m nervous,” she murmurs against his lips, and Bellamy gives her a peck.</p>
<p>“Me, too. But we don’t have to—”</p>
<p>“No,” she rolls towards him even more, “I want to.”</p>
<p>Bellamy leans in to kiss her again, much softer than the others, and Clarke melts against him. His hand dips under her shirt again, grazing his fingers across her side as Clarke tries to pull his up. He smiles as he leans back and pulls the shirt over his head, and Clarke bites at her bottom lip as she runs her hands over his chest and his shoulders.</p>
<p>“You know, it was like one day I woke up and the best friend I fell in love with had turned into a heartbreaker,” she whispers, and he can feel her fingers find the scar that’s on his back shoulder. He remembers the day he got it. </p>
<p>They were in middle school and Clarke’s boyfriend at the time, Riley, decided that the best way to break up with her was to humiliate her at lunch. Bellamy overheard him talking about some of the <em> things </em> they did to his friends, when Clarke had just spent the night before telling him how Riley was asking for pictures that she didn’t want to give him and telling her he loved her when she didn’t want to say it back. So, Bellamy may have lost it a little and attacked the guy. One poorly placed stick and a trip to the hospital later, and Bellamy was going to have a scar for the rest of his life. His girlfriend wasn’t too happy he got into a fight over another girl, though.</p>
<p>He lays back down beside her and kisses her cheek, her fingers still outlining the scar. “When did you realize?”</p>
<p>“The day you got this.” She flattens her hand over it, and then she sits up and presses a soft kiss to it. “I don’t think I’ve ever thanked you for taking a stick for me.” She smiles down at him, and Bellamy runs his hand up and down her thigh.</p>
<p>“I’d do it all over again.”</p>
<p>“I know.” Clarke leans forward and kisses him, and Bellamy pulls her into his chest. In all honesty, he would be content to just lay here and kiss her if that’s what she wanted, but she’s already told him what she wants. </p>
<p>He presses his hands to her lower back, and slowly wraps her up in his arms being rewarded with a soft sigh between their kisses. After a moment, he grabs the hem of her shirt and lifts it up and Clarke breaks the kiss to look at him. Her eyes are wide and her cheeks are pink, but there’s a look in her eye that he’s only seen a few times before.</p>
<p>“Are you okay?” He moves his hands back down and the shirt covers her skin again, and it’s almost like he can see the worry drain from her body.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I’m okay.” She leans in to kiss him again, and Bellamy gives her a quick peck before pulling back to look at her. There’s a pout on her lips now, and he gives her another quick kiss.</p>
<p>“Talk to me, Clarke.”</p>
<p>She drops her eyes from his face and looks at his shoulder, running her fingers over his skin. “I just...I don’t like taking my shirt off.”</p>
<p>He leans forward and presses a kiss to her collarbone, and then her cheek. “Can I ask why?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know,” she mumbles.</p>
<p>“Hey,” he moves his hand from her waist and cups the side of her face. When she looks at him, his heart breaks and he has the urge to find anyone who has ever made her feel like she’s not beautiful and kick their ass. “You are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen in my life.” Clarke’s lips part. “The way you smile at me, and when you laugh, it feels like the world has been made brighter. And I’ve seen you in every possible scenario that I can think of, and I don’t know of any one where I haven’t thought you were gorgeous.”</p>
<p>“You’ve seen me drooling on my pillow after getting my wisdom teeth taken out,” her nose wrinkles, and Bellamy smiles.</p>
<p>“And it was adorable.” At that, Clarke giggles, and Bellamy’s heart lifts. “You’re beautiful, Clarke, and I want to help you see that.”</p>
<p>She smiles at him, and even though Bellamy can see tears forming in the corners of her eyes, she continues to smile as she leans down to kiss him. “Thank you.”</p>
<p>“You don’t need to thank me.”</p>
<p>They go back to kissing, and Bellamy takes care not to lift her shirt up too much, but he still wants to hold her how he did earlier. He presses his hand to her lower back under her shirt while they kiss, and just when Bellamy thinks that this will be the only thing they’ll do tonight, Clarke takes one of his hands and moves it to the hem of her shirt. She moves his hand up and the shirt bunches up over it. Bellamy pulls back to look at her, silently asking if this is what she wants, and Clarke nods her head. Her hand leaves his, and Bellamy uses his other hand to grab her shirt and pulls it up and over her head. After he’s thrown the shirt at the foot of the bed, he turns around and sees that she has her arms covering her boobs, looking up at him. </p>
<p>He settles between her legs, and lays down on top of her a little. He bends his head to kiss her. They’re just soft kisses at first, then he kisses down her jaw and to her neck. She moves under him, and by the time he makes his way back to her lips, her arms come and wrap around his shoulders, pulling him closer. Their bare chests pressing together pulls a moan from Bellamy’s lips, and Clarke pulls him into her even more. There’s hardly any space left between them, and the only thing left is her underwear and his boxers and gym shorts.</p>
<p>“Bellamy,” she mewls, and then her hips grind up into his his, and he groans at the feeling.</p>
<p>“Shhh…” he kisses the corner of her mouth, and then her cheek, and he moves so he can slot his hand between her legs. He can feel the heat coming off her, and when he cups her mound, her underwear is soaked. “Fuck you’re wet, Princess.” Clarke moans softly and Bellamy smiles down at her. “You like when I call you that, don’t you?”</p>
<p>Her eyes blink open and a deep blush appears on her cheeks as she nods. “Mhm.”</p>
<p>“When did that happen?”</p>
<p>“Uhm…” her blush deepens and she looks away from him, but Bellamy keeps rubbing her slowly over her underwear.</p>
<p>“<em>Clarke</em>.”</p>
<p>When she looks back at him, she bites her bottom lip. “He tried calling me that, but I didn’t like it. It didn’t sound right. Then all I could think about was you and—” Clarke is cut off when Bellamy slips his hand under her underwear and she writhes beneath him. He can hear her breath catch in her throat. Bellamy leans forward, nuzzling her jaw as his finger slips between her folds.</p>
<p>“And what, princess?” He can feel her clench at the name and there’s something burning inside of him, something nearly animalistic and possessive.</p>
<p>“And—” Bellamy dips his finger towards her entrance and Clarke whimpers. She’s so wet, and the sounds coming off her lips is something he could listen to for the rest of his life. “And how badly I wanted it to be you.”</p>
<p>His head drops to her shoulder and he buries his face in her neck. “Fuck, Clarke.” He slides his fingers through her folds again, and Clarke’s breathing changes. “Is this what you thought about? Your best friend touching you and making you come?”</p>
<p>“Yes.” Her voice is breathy and when he pulls back to look at her, her eyes stare into him. He presses a finger into her, and her jaw goes slack then after he pumps it in and out a few times he adds a second and her eyes close. “Bellamy, please.”</p>
<p>“Hmm…” Bellamy leans down and kisses the corner of her mouth. “What do you want, baby?” She clenches around his fingers at that nickname, too, and he wonders what else she might like. Clarke opens her mouth to respond, but when he crooks his fingers up the only thing that comes out is a moan. “Can I taste you?”</p>
<p>Her eyes open, and the blush from earlier is back as she nods her head. Bellamy pushes down at her underwear and Clarke helps him take them off before he leans in and gives her a deep kiss before he makes his way down her jaw and throat and towards her chest. She looks amazing like this, and he wants to commit it to memory. Not like he’ll ever forget this night anyway. She watches him as he moves, and Bellamy presses a kiss between the valley of her breasts before kissing his way to one of her nipples. When he kisses it, he can hear her intake of breath, and he sucks it into his mouth, using his free hand to hold it. Then, he kisses his way to the other one and sucks on it, too, and Clarke tangles her fingers in his hair.</p>
<p>“You’re gorgeous,” he murmurs against her skin, and Clarke shivers under him. </p>
<p>He continues his trail down her stomach, pressing a kiss to the top of her bellybutton, then further and further down. He kisses the mole that’s on her hip, one that’s been in his dreams quite a lot, and when he makes his way to her center, he bites at his bottom lip as he looks at her. Her folds are wet and swollen, and when he looks up at her, she’s flushed down to her chest, but she’s not hiding herself from him anymore. He keeps his eyes on her as he leans forward and presses a kiss just above her clit, and then he focuses on kissing every inch of her he can see.</p>
<p>Clarke whimpers when he moves to her thighs, and he slips his fingers back into her. She feels so warm and soft, he closes his eyes for a moment as he thinks about what it will be like to be in her. He watches her face as he leans forward and licks a long stripe between her folds, and Clarke’s head goes back as a high-pitched moan slips past her lips. </p>
<p>Bellamy closes his eyes as he delves into her, trying to lick up all of her arousal before he licks at her clit. Clarke’s breathing changes, and he begins to move his fingers in and out of her faster as he sucks at her. With how wet she is, he wouldn’t be surprised if she comes soon, but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t want to draw it out. He licks between her folds again and she clenches around his fingers, and when he looks up at her, Bellamy feels like he’s in a dream. One he never thought would come true.</p>
<p>He slips a third finger in her, and even though it’s tight fit, Clarke takes it with a moan and her walls flutter around him. If he wasn’t so eager to get inside of her he would try and draw it out to see how many times he could get her to come, but not tonight. He arches his fingers once, twice, four times and then she’s falling apart around him. Her breath catches in her throat for a moment and then a moan echoes in the room. He licks at her until her legs shake around him, and then he goes back to kissing his way back up her body as he moves back up to settle between her legs again. </p>
<p>Her arms wrap around his neck and she holds onto him as she calms down, and he presses kisses to her shoulder and neck. When her breathing evens out, Bellamy pulls back to look at her, and her eyes drift down to his lips. He smiles as he leans down and ghosts his lips over hers, and Clarke makes a noise when he doesn’t kiss her. He tries to do it again, but she tightens her hold on him and brings his lips to hers, sighing when he meets her tongue with his. <em> She’s trying to kill me isn’t she? </em></p>
<p>He grinds his hips into hers, and Clarke wraps her legs around his waist. Even though he’s only wearing boxers and gym shorts, they still feel too tight for how hard he is. </p>
<p>“Do you still want to do this?” He asks, and Clarke smiles as she nods her head. </p>
<p>“Yeah. Please.” She lifts her hips up and Bellamy grinds into them without meaning to. </p>
<p>She helps him push down his shorts and his underwear, and he gives her a quick kiss before he reaches over to grab a condom out of his nightstand. But just when he’s about to open it, she grabs his arm.</p>
<p>“Wait.” He looks at her, and there’s worry building in his chest that she might have changed her mind about the entire thing. </p>
<p>“Clarke, if you don’t—”</p>
<p>“Bellamy,” she runs her hand up and down his arm and then squeezes, “get it out of your head that I’m going to change my mind because I’m not. Okay?” </p>
<p>“Okay.” He leans on his arm, propped up and looking at her. “What’s wrong?”</p>
<p>“Nothing’s wrong, I, um…” she glances at the condom in his hand, and he waits. Her cheeks turn pink again. “I just—I’ve never done it without one. I’ve never <em> wanted </em> to do it without one but, now…” she trails off, biting her bottom lip and playing with the edge of the blanket. “I don’t expect you to want to, but I was just thinking that, maybe—”</p>
<p>Bellamy cuts her off with a kiss and she makes a surprised sound before holding his face in her hands. “If you’re sure—”</p>
<p>“I am.” She props herself up and leans forward, giving him a kiss. “I want you to be my first. My only.” </p>
<p>“God, I love you.” Bellamy presses her back into the pillows and kisses her some more, alternating between kissing her lips and her neck. Their bodies fit together in a way he’s never experienced with someone else, but they’ve always fit together. </p>
<p>It’s when she starts trying to grind into him, that’s when Bellamy positions himself at her entrance, and he kisses her as he pushes into her. She moans and hums as he presses into her more, and when he’s close enough she wraps her legs around his waist, holding him there. </p>
<p>“Oh my god,” she pants into his shoulder.</p>
<p>“Feels good, doesn’t it?”</p>
<p>“Yes.” Her head sinks into pillows and Bellamy nuzzles her cheek. “You feel so good.” </p>
<p>“So do you.” </p>
<p>Clarke tangles one hand in his hair as the other clutches at his back, and Bellamy kisses her once more as he begins to move. Their kisses become sloppy and at some point it’s not more than them just panting with their foreheads pressed together, but the way Clarke looks under him...<em> show me what it’s like to be loved by you. </em> </p>
<p>Bellamy grabs her ass with one hand and Clarke hums as she hikes her leg higher on his hip, but Bellamy pulls out slightly so he can move her ankle to where it’s resting on his shoulder, then he presses back into her all the way. Clarke throws her head back and a loud moan makes it way out of her throat. He knows they should try and keep it down, but he really doesn’t want to. They’ve both waited so long for this, and he wants to hear her.</p>
<p>“God, Bellamy.” He can see her eyes beginning to shine in the light that’s coming through the room, and he wishes he could lean down and kiss her, but he doesn’t know how flexible she is. “Bellamy,” she whimpers, and clings to his shoulders even more.</p>
<p>“I got you, baby.” He leans forward, and she lifts her head enough to where he can kiss her forehead.</p>
<p>He can feel himself building, and from the sounds Clarke is making, he knows she’s not going to last much longer. He reaches down and presses his thumb to her clit and she cries out, her fingernails digging into his skin. “Come on, Princess. Come for me again,” he growls, and Clarke’s walls flutter around him. </p>
<p>She pulls him down and kisses him, and Bellamy tries his best to not have her leg pressed too far back. She moans and whimpers into his mouth and he captures it all as she spasms around him. He comes in her with a grunt that sounds more like a sob, and Clarke keeps him where he is. Not like he was going to go anywhere in the first place. </p>
<p>He moves back a little to let her leg off his shoulder, and when it’s back around his waist, Clarke sighs. Usually by this point he would have already pulled out and thrown the condom away, but with Clarke wrapping herself around him and how perfect she feels against him, he doesn’t want to move. Her grip on his hair disappears and she starts carding her fingers through his curls, and Bellamy buries his face in her neck. They’re both sweaty, and her heart is racing under his ear, but <em> god </em> he feels like he could go to sleep. He kisses the base of her neck and Clarke hums, tilting her head down to kiss him properly. </p>
<p><em> People spend their entire lives looking for their other half, and I found mine when we were six. </em> Eventually, though, Bellamy does pull out and Clarke rolls onto him when he lays down. She smiles at him then, a bright smile that’s gotten him through a lot. And into a lot. He reaches up and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, then she leans over to kiss him again. </p>
<p>“I love you.”</p>
<p>“I love you, too, Clarke.” He leans up to kiss her, and Clarke settles on to his chest. “You’re stunning. You know that?”</p>
<p>She blushes and ducks her head, but he can see her smile. “I don’t think you’ve told me I was pretty since we were kids.”</p>
<p>His heart aches, but he knows it’s true. When they were younger, it didn’t matter what Clarke was wearing because he would always tell her she was pretty. Even when her mother dressed her in that horrible Christmas dress that made it look like a tree threw up on her. </p>
<p>“I know, and I’m sorry.” His hand runs up and down her arm, and he can feel goosebumps beginning to form on her skin. “I was just worried that if I told you then I’d start word vomiting and wouldn’t know how to shut up. I was terrified of ruining what we had.”</p>
<p>“Me, too.” She folds her fingers onto his chest and rests her chin on them. “Every time I looked at you, after I realized my feelings, it scared me. I mean, how could I be so close to you and <em> not </em> tell you how I feel? Then, you would get a girlfriend and it would make it easier for me to hide my feelings, because I could tell myself that you were happy, but then it wouldn’t last long and that’s when I would be back at the beginning.” At the mention of his past girlfriends, Bellamy bites the inside of his cheek. “What?”</p>
<p>He takes a deep breath, and his hand continues to run over her arm. “The reason why they never lasted was because they never liked me being friends with you.” Clarke’s eyebrows arch up. “They always told me that they didn’t like me having a girl best friend, and that if I didn’t stop being friends with you then we would stop dating. You obviously know what I chose.”</p>
<p>That causes the corner of her mouth to turn up a little, but there’s something in it that has him tilting his head to the side a little. Before he can ask what’s wrong, Clarke leans forward and kisses him. It’s soft, and slow, and there’s no real force to it. It’s just sweet and loving. Bellamy wraps his arm around her waist and rolls them over, pulling her into his chest. She traces patterns on his skin, and he leans forward, pressing their foreheads together.</p>
<p>“What’s going on in that head of yours?”</p>
<p>“What made you realize you were in love with me?” Her voice is a soft whisper, and her eyes are wide as she looks up at him. </p>
<p>“Do you remember that day? I know you remember the night, but what we did that day.”</p>
<p>“We went to school, then we went to your house and did homework while Octavia was at her friend’s and then before we picked her up we went and got snowballs from the stand at the park. And you weren’t feeling well—” she stops talking and raises an eyebrow at him. “You weren’t actually sick, were you?” </p>
<p>“Maybe not <em> sick</em>, but I was scared. I didn’t know what to do, and I was terrified that you would never love me back.” He takes a deep breath and flattens his hand between her shoulder blades. “When my mom called me into her room, she knew I wasn’t sick, and then she told me that love is always a scary thing, but that me and you had our entire lives to figure out how much we mean to each other. That we’d always find our way back to one another. Which is also what your dad told me when he stopped by two weeks ago.”</p>
<p>“My dad stopped by to talk to you?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I didn’t expect that.”</p>
<p>Clarke chuckles a little. “Your mom actually came by to talk to me, too.”</p>
<p>“She did?” </p>
<p>“Yeah,” Clarke smiles. “She told me that we’ve both always been stubborn, but that there was nothing that could keep us apart from each other. And she told me that I needed to think about where I saw myself five, ten, years from now, but I already knew.”</p>
<p>“Where do you want to be?”</p>
<p>“With you. In a pretty house, with two dogs and three kids.”</p>
<p>“You’ve thought about this,” he chuckles, and presses a kiss to the tip of her nose.</p>
<p>“Have you?”</p>
<p>“More than you know.” His thumb runs over her bare back, and she curls into him more. “The moment I realized I was in love with you was when we had our snowballs and we were sitting at the picnic table. The same one you were sitting on when I came to pick you up tonight. I don’t remember what I said exactly, but you laughed so hard at it and the realization hit me like a ton of bricks. It was in that moment that I realized I wanted to make you laugh like that for the rest of our lives.”</p>
<p>Tears form in the corners of her eyes, and she kisses him. “That day when you went to the hospital, I was so upset that they wouldn’t let me leave with you. They ended up calling my dad at work and when he got to the school they had to bring him to the counselor’s office because I was causing too much of a scene. And when he finally got me to the hospital, I remember walking into the room and you were sitting up on the bed and you grinned at me. Do you remember that?”</p>
<p>“How could I forget?”</p>
<p>He remembers hearing Clarke screaming as he was being loaded into the ambulance, and even when his mom showed up at the hospital and he was getting stitches, all he could think about was her. Then, she stormed into the ER like a blonde hurricane with her parents following behind her and held onto him so tight he thought she might break something. Then she argued with him because he asked if she was okay and she said that he didn’t get to ask that because he was the one currently in the hospital.</p>
<p>“It was then that I realized I could never lose you. You meant everything to me—you <em> mean </em> everything to me. And it took so much for me to not tell you that I loved you then. I knew that I could never live my life how I wanted unless I had you with me.” Her hand comes up to rest on the side of his face, like earlier on the couch. “You’re my forever.”</p>
<p>“And you’re mine.” Bellamy’s eyes are beginning to water, too, and he leans forward and gives her another kiss. </p>
<p>They stay like that for a while until it’s clear that Clarke is falling asleep, and Bellamy stills for a moment as he listens to what’s going on outside. It’s still raining, but it’s not as bad as it was earlier. When he looks over at his best friend, she’s curled up at his side, her soft breath fanning out of her his exposed skin. If the rain gets any worse then she’ll probably wake up, but he’ll be here when she does.</p>
<p>He’ll always be there, right beside her, for the rest of their lives. And they’ll never sleep apart again. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Aannnddd Bellarke makes my heart happy &lt;3 I know with this new season some people's hopes for them becoming canon are dwindling, and I'm not entirely sure where I stand on it if I'm being honest, but I do know some very wonderful writers are going to write fix-it fics so keep an eye out for them! They never disappoint :)</p>
<p>I want to thank everyone who has kept with the story this week and everyone who will read it in the future and give it a shot &lt;3 and a huge thank you to Shamp for choosing me to be the one to bring her idea to life &lt;3 I hope you enjoyed it!</p>
<p>I appreciate all of the love y'all have given me! And I hope you liked it!<br/>Xx</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Comments and kudos are always appreciated &lt;3</p><p>You can find me on...</p><p>Tumblr: xxawalkinwonderlandxx<br/>Twitter: awalknwonderlnd</p></blockquote></div></div>
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